Sometimes it feels like a
disadvantage to have known my Savior from a very early age. It’s like people
think that I can’t relate to the trials and temptations that other believers
have had to endure because they walked a path that was so broken before they
came to know Christ as a young adult or much later season of life. They speak of
overcoming their addictions and coming out of a lifestyle of sin. I suppose
some of them think that my path was easier. I wonder that too sometimes. Did I
have a blessed advantage right from the womb?
I have struggled with temptation and it has seemed like at times my biggest temptation might be the exact same sin of unbelief that any believer has had to overcome. It’s the trial of seeing myself in Christ as blameless.
It’s a supernatural Gospel and we know that we are saved by grace through faith in what our Savior accomplished for us by His perfect sacrifice. We exchanged a life of sin and curses for a life of perfect relationship with our Father in Heaven. He sent His Son Jesus so we could have Eternal Life starting now in this earthly realm and carried through forever and ever to the next realm. The agreement that God the Father had with His Son was “You die for the people and I will make the people My Family.”
It is Good News that we had NOTHING to do with this arrangement between the Father and the Son but we can benefit by simple trust that Jesus did enough. We accept that His Blood is our complete perfect payment. (Eph 2)
So the struggle comes in because we walk through so much of this life with a misunderstanding of the fact that His righteousness was imputed to us when we by faith receive or take the Savior as our own. (Roman 4) We still look at us and see imperfection, lack and sinful behavior. But our behavior did not make us righteous and our behavior cannot make us unrighteous in His sight. Blood purchased me and my unpleasant thoughts about me do not change the fact that I am blameless or guiltless in Christ.
So today I was allowed by the Spirit to see a glimpse of my innocence. I was five years of age and we lived in a very secluded rural part of Michigan. Somehow my mother arranged for me to be picked up by a bus and I went to a Vacation Bible School at a little Wesleyan Church. I remember I got to sit in the front row of pews because I was the youngest of that group. I remember playing a game to guess the name of the song and whoever knew the most songs would win a prize. Well, I guessed Jingle Bells to one of the songs…. I did win a prize by the end of the week because I was very good at learning music.
Later that week or maybe the following week after the Vacation Bible School was over, I was singing one of the songs that I learned.
“The Lord knows the way through the wilderness. All I hafta do is follow.”
I sang this part of the song all afternoon throughout the house and inside our enclosed porch. My mom sounded a bit irritated when she asked if I knew the rest of the song. I told her “No, mama. I don’t need to know any more of the song.” In my heart it was perfect. I was happy with just knowing that “My Lord knows the way through the wilderness and all I hafta do is follow.” I knew the name of Jesus and that He loved me. It was a perfect , holy, pure relationship. And for decades that is really all my heart has desired since to know I am perfect, holy and pure before my Father in heaven.
So in this new season, I am seeing my innocence once again as this little girl did so perfectly. I am somehow simultaneously a little child and a strong, beautiful princess warrior who knows she is perfect before her Father in heaven. I was afraid that little girl was weak but in reality it is her perfect heart inside of me that makes me so powerful. I can set aside my wrestling, restless soul that previously believed I still had something that needed to be done to walk in perfect peace and wholeness with my God.
I have struggled with temptation and it has seemed like at times my biggest temptation might be the exact same sin of unbelief that any believer has had to overcome. It’s the trial of seeing myself in Christ as blameless.
It’s a supernatural Gospel and we know that we are saved by grace through faith in what our Savior accomplished for us by His perfect sacrifice. We exchanged a life of sin and curses for a life of perfect relationship with our Father in Heaven. He sent His Son Jesus so we could have Eternal Life starting now in this earthly realm and carried through forever and ever to the next realm. The agreement that God the Father had with His Son was “You die for the people and I will make the people My Family.”
It is Good News that we had NOTHING to do with this arrangement between the Father and the Son but we can benefit by simple trust that Jesus did enough. We accept that His Blood is our complete perfect payment. (Eph 2)
So the struggle comes in because we walk through so much of this life with a misunderstanding of the fact that His righteousness was imputed to us when we by faith receive or take the Savior as our own. (Roman 4) We still look at us and see imperfection, lack and sinful behavior. But our behavior did not make us righteous and our behavior cannot make us unrighteous in His sight. Blood purchased me and my unpleasant thoughts about me do not change the fact that I am blameless or guiltless in Christ.
So today I was allowed by the Spirit to see a glimpse of my innocence. I was five years of age and we lived in a very secluded rural part of Michigan. Somehow my mother arranged for me to be picked up by a bus and I went to a Vacation Bible School at a little Wesleyan Church. I remember I got to sit in the front row of pews because I was the youngest of that group. I remember playing a game to guess the name of the song and whoever knew the most songs would win a prize. Well, I guessed Jingle Bells to one of the songs…. I did win a prize by the end of the week because I was very good at learning music.
Later that week or maybe the following week after the Vacation Bible School was over, I was singing one of the songs that I learned.
“The Lord knows the way through the wilderness. All I hafta do is follow.”
I sang this part of the song all afternoon throughout the house and inside our enclosed porch. My mom sounded a bit irritated when she asked if I knew the rest of the song. I told her “No, mama. I don’t need to know any more of the song.” In my heart it was perfect. I was happy with just knowing that “My Lord knows the way through the wilderness and all I hafta do is follow.” I knew the name of Jesus and that He loved me. It was a perfect , holy, pure relationship. And for decades that is really all my heart has desired since to know I am perfect, holy and pure before my Father in heaven.
So in this new season, I am seeing my innocence once again as this little girl did so perfectly. I am somehow simultaneously a little child and a strong, beautiful princess warrior who knows she is perfect before her Father in heaven. I was afraid that little girl was weak but in reality it is her perfect heart inside of me that makes me so powerful. I can set aside my wrestling, restless soul that previously believed I still had something that needed to be done to walk in perfect peace and wholeness with my God.
Now I have a new song:
I declare you’re innocent.
I declare you’re mine.
Bought by His precious Blood.
Born of His side.
I declare you’re innocent
No more to deny.
As He is you are right now.
In Christ glorified.
(1 John 4)
(1 John 4)
