So you think you blew it! You failed so badly that there is no point of return. You know in retrospect that you should have been heading north when you ended up WAY south of the destiny He had for you! Now you hang your head in shame just wondering how He will get you back on track.
But then you awake one morning and realize that He did something amazing. He took your epic fail and turned it into something for His Glory. He turned the shame into something that you cannot take credit for. The hard work that you did or thought you should do were all just distractions and things to take your eyes off from your relationship with your Heavenly Father. When you fell flat on your face in the mud with piggies eating around you, that's when you cried out and really NEEDED HIS GRACE! And that's when you got it.
When I got saved, I knew it was by grace but somehow when I was growing in the Lord, I got the idea that the process of maturing (called sanctification) was from my own hard work. And if I failed it was because I was out of His will or disobeying. It's true that not following what you know to be from Him can result in sorrow....but many young Christians are just convinced that anything that seems like sorrow is due to them not playing by the rules.
Here are the rules:
1) Your Heavenly Father loves you and knows you are really fragile. He sent Jesus knowing exactly how messed up you would be at this moment of your life.
2) You mess up and cry out for His GRACE and it flows to you....you didn't deserve it. But that's the game. You need GRACE and He gladly, freely gives it.
3) You continue to work for God's favor and good pleasure and you will be spinning your wheels for a very long time...trust me! Grace is undeserved....take advantage of it!
In my favorite Psalm 16 in verse 5 it states:
The Lord is my chosen and assigned portion, my cup; You hold and maintain my lot.
Remember from a previous post I explain about this word lot meaning like in a game of chance. The game has been rigged in your favor!!! You are just getting a taste of Grace and you realize it is so much bigger and better than you have given Him credit for.
God Has Rigged the Game in Your Favor
You bogeyed....you REALLY messed up! I dare you to ask the Father to reveal to you how He has planned to make this situation a neon sign for His glory and grace. The games not over and He has already made you victorious!
Psalms 16:11 You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Where There is NO LAW there is No Transgression
I've been digging for gold nuggets in the book of Romans. Actually the gold nuggets are laying right on top for me to pick up and enjoy. The abundant life that Jesus spoke of just flows to me so freely now that I understand God's love lavished on me by what Jesus accomplished. I no longer see myself as having to pay back what He so willingly gave. No more trying to be justified by good works but fruit flowing from my life as a bi-product of being in Christ.
Today is Good Friday, the day on the calendar that we celebrate the sacrifice of our Savior Jesus the Messiah. He said, "It is finished." and I choose to believe that He finished the good work on the Cross so that I could live a life of no condemnation and filled with peace and joy. People on this planet are not interested in religion, but they will be drawn to the believers who are joy-filled and understand who they really are IN CHRIST.
For the promise to Abraham or his posterity, that he should inherit the world, did not come through observing the commands of the Law, but through the righteousness of faith.
If it is those clinging to the Law who are to be the heirs, then faith is made futile and empty of all meaning and the promise of God is made void (is annulled and has no power).
For the Law results in wrath, but where there is no law there is no transgression.
Therefore, inheriting the promise is the outcome of faith and depends entirely on faith, in order that it might be given as an act of grace (unmerited favor), to make it stable and valid and guaranteed to all his descendants--not only to the devotees and supporter of the Law, but also to those who share the faith of Abraham, who is the father of us all. (Romans 4:13-16)
After reading this, my mind drifted with a nudge from the Holy Spirit.... I was thinking about the casino. The casino is on the property of the Saginaw/Chippewa Tribe of people. This is a sovereign nation. They have their own laws. I don't know all their laws, but one law is that it is legal to gamble there. If I'm standing on their property and choose to play black jack or poker or any other game of chance then there will be no negative consequences for me --accept that I might go home with less money. I am free to play any game available to me because their law says so.
I step on their property and I experience freedom from the law that would bring wrath upon me in my own country. I might bring with me my emotional or mental hangups about gambling, but the fact is that it is perfectly legal and my guilt or lack of guilt in my mind is of no consequence.
When I step off the property and back into my own country and if I decide to gamble and the authorities find out then there could be legal ramifications for me for breaking the law. The law in my own country says gambling is illegal. I am not free to partake. And feelings of guilt or feelings of freedom in this area really don't matter. If I gamble and get caught then their will be unpleasant consequences.
Same is true in the Spirit. I am now under grace. I am not clinging to the Law for my justification. Paul said in Hebrews 8:13 that the old covenant or the Law is obsolete. Since the Cross, we are under grace. My feelings on this matter my vary but the truth is that the old is gone and the new covenant is now how I am justified. I am not under the Law but under grace because of Jesus.
Jesus paid for my freedom. But sometimes I forget this fact and allow myself to be living under laws that no longer have precedence over me. It's like I forgot what country I live in. I am free but live like I'm under obligation. Jesus paid the price so I can live free but my mind continues to live under condemnation. And somehow when I live like I'm still under the law of sin and death it clings to me as much as I cling to it.
Paul said to strip off the old nature and put on the new. It's like changing clothes in the spirit but we don't do it by our good works but by believing we are re-generated. It's like believing you are dwelling in a place where the law is no longer your master.
Strip yourselves of your former nature [put off and discard your old unrenewed self] which characterized your previous manner of life and becomes corrupt through lusts and desires that spring from delusion; And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude],And put on the new nature (the regenerate self) created in God's image, [Godlike] in true righteousness and holiness. (Eph 4:22-24)
Today is Good Friday, the day on the calendar that we celebrate the sacrifice of our Savior Jesus the Messiah. He said, "It is finished." and I choose to believe that He finished the good work on the Cross so that I could live a life of no condemnation and filled with peace and joy. People on this planet are not interested in religion, but they will be drawn to the believers who are joy-filled and understand who they really are IN CHRIST.
For the promise to Abraham or his posterity, that he should inherit the world, did not come through observing the commands of the Law, but through the righteousness of faith.
If it is those clinging to the Law who are to be the heirs, then faith is made futile and empty of all meaning and the promise of God is made void (is annulled and has no power).
For the Law results in wrath, but where there is no law there is no transgression.
Therefore, inheriting the promise is the outcome of faith and depends entirely on faith, in order that it might be given as an act of grace (unmerited favor), to make it stable and valid and guaranteed to all his descendants--not only to the devotees and supporter of the Law, but also to those who share the faith of Abraham, who is the father of us all. (Romans 4:13-16)
After reading this, my mind drifted with a nudge from the Holy Spirit.... I was thinking about the casino. The casino is on the property of the Saginaw/Chippewa Tribe of people. This is a sovereign nation. They have their own laws. I don't know all their laws, but one law is that it is legal to gamble there. If I'm standing on their property and choose to play black jack or poker or any other game of chance then there will be no negative consequences for me --accept that I might go home with less money. I am free to play any game available to me because their law says so.
I step on their property and I experience freedom from the law that would bring wrath upon me in my own country. I might bring with me my emotional or mental hangups about gambling, but the fact is that it is perfectly legal and my guilt or lack of guilt in my mind is of no consequence.
When I step off the property and back into my own country and if I decide to gamble and the authorities find out then there could be legal ramifications for me for breaking the law. The law in my own country says gambling is illegal. I am not free to partake. And feelings of guilt or feelings of freedom in this area really don't matter. If I gamble and get caught then their will be unpleasant consequences.
Same is true in the Spirit. I am now under grace. I am not clinging to the Law for my justification. Paul said in Hebrews 8:13 that the old covenant or the Law is obsolete. Since the Cross, we are under grace. My feelings on this matter my vary but the truth is that the old is gone and the new covenant is now how I am justified. I am not under the Law but under grace because of Jesus.
Jesus paid for my freedom. But sometimes I forget this fact and allow myself to be living under laws that no longer have precedence over me. It's like I forgot what country I live in. I am free but live like I'm under obligation. Jesus paid the price so I can live free but my mind continues to live under condemnation. And somehow when I live like I'm still under the law of sin and death it clings to me as much as I cling to it.
Paul said to strip off the old nature and put on the new. It's like changing clothes in the spirit but we don't do it by our good works but by believing we are re-generated. It's like believing you are dwelling in a place where the law is no longer your master.
Strip yourselves of your former nature [put off and discard your old unrenewed self] which characterized your previous manner of life and becomes corrupt through lusts and desires that spring from delusion; And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude],And put on the new nature (the regenerate self) created in God's image, [Godlike] in true righteousness and holiness. (Eph 4:22-24)
Thursday, April 7, 2011
A Day of Small Beginnings
I'm thinking back to a day that was more than a decade ago. My small children had been sick. I had been sick. I was out of my normal routine of going to church, serving, praying, Bible meditation....etc.... In my mind I was out of touch with the Father. I was certain that I needed to do some major repenting of my sin.
I awoke on a mid-week morning with fear gripping my heart. I had realized that it had been two whole days and I had not had one single thought toward the Lord. I was feeling like a very bad 'Christian'. I sat up in my bed and said to the Lord, "I'm so sorry...ohhhh.... you must be so disappointed. I'm so ashamed.... I heard in my Spirit come to me in Jesus' Name.
I thought, "Oh good that will help!" It was like a light shining the direction I should go.
Now I always started and ended every prayer I ever spoke with "In the Name of Jesus...." I knew this was vital. I knew this was a key to God hearing me. Well, that was my thinking at the time.
So I scrunched up my face and got in a posture of being very sincere and very humble.... "O God, I come to you now in the Name of Jesus..." Then the Holy Spirit very distinctly and very abruptly spoke, "Yes, you do...." It was not harsh but more straight forward and almost with no emotional tone. It startled me and I opened my scrunched up eyes....
I started over... "Oh Heavenly Father I come to you in the Name of Jesus..." Same thing, I hear firmly, "Yes, you do...." Again it was not punitive or rebuking-- just a simple statement. I was a little frustrated to be interrupted again....didn't God understand that I had to do my repenting before I was okay with Him again and I could get going on my busy mommy day?
A third time I tried being very holy and persisting in prayer, "Oh most Holy God, I come to you in the Name of Jesus...." YES YOU DO!"
Then in a matter of moments I get a download from Heaven about the heart of the Father. I didn't need to beg God to listen or try to be holy to get HIs attention. It was a 'Day of Small Beginnings' (Zech. 4:10) on an understanding of God's grace. I was so used to doing stuff to try to get God to bless me or at the very least rebuke the devourer from my life that I didn't really know how to come boldly before the Throne of Grace.
"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:6
I encourage any of you, to take this small step and know that it's all Jesus and what He accomplished for you and NONE of your good deeds that impress our Heavenly Father. "For it is by grace you have been saved and not works so that none of us can boast." Eph 2
I didn't get off the performance trap that day... but it was the beginning of a journey that has lead to Jesus plus nothing. :)
I awoke on a mid-week morning with fear gripping my heart. I had realized that it had been two whole days and I had not had one single thought toward the Lord. I was feeling like a very bad 'Christian'. I sat up in my bed and said to the Lord, "I'm so sorry...ohhhh.... you must be so disappointed. I'm so ashamed.... I heard in my Spirit come to me in Jesus' Name.
I thought, "Oh good that will help!" It was like a light shining the direction I should go.
Now I always started and ended every prayer I ever spoke with "In the Name of Jesus...." I knew this was vital. I knew this was a key to God hearing me. Well, that was my thinking at the time.
So I scrunched up my face and got in a posture of being very sincere and very humble.... "O God, I come to you now in the Name of Jesus..." Then the Holy Spirit very distinctly and very abruptly spoke, "Yes, you do...." It was not harsh but more straight forward and almost with no emotional tone. It startled me and I opened my scrunched up eyes....
I started over... "Oh Heavenly Father I come to you in the Name of Jesus..." Same thing, I hear firmly, "Yes, you do...." Again it was not punitive or rebuking-- just a simple statement. I was a little frustrated to be interrupted again....didn't God understand that I had to do my repenting before I was okay with Him again and I could get going on my busy mommy day?
A third time I tried being very holy and persisting in prayer, "Oh most Holy God, I come to you in the Name of Jesus...." YES YOU DO!"
Then in a matter of moments I get a download from Heaven about the heart of the Father. I didn't need to beg God to listen or try to be holy to get HIs attention. It was a 'Day of Small Beginnings' (Zech. 4:10) on an understanding of God's grace. I was so used to doing stuff to try to get God to bless me or at the very least rebuke the devourer from my life that I didn't really know how to come boldly before the Throne of Grace.
"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:6
I encourage any of you, to take this small step and know that it's all Jesus and what He accomplished for you and NONE of your good deeds that impress our Heavenly Father. "For it is by grace you have been saved and not works so that none of us can boast." Eph 2
I didn't get off the performance trap that day... but it was the beginning of a journey that has lead to Jesus plus nothing. :)
Monday, March 21, 2011
My Friend Got a Bad Rap....
I was having lunch with a friend a few weeks back. We were munching our salad and catching up with old times. She mentioned she met a friend of a friend of mine and she heard some very disappointing news. She only told me what her very good source told her.
What she said, hurt me very deeply. Not that what she said was not the truth but that I knew this person and he was in my book one of the "good guys". I put him in a category of being a hero and a loyal friend. Someone whom I would call if I ever needed anything.
I don't blame my friend for believing this piece of information. It might have even been 100% true.... but I knew 99 things about this person from personal experience that shows me that he is of a good character. Not perfect --but in his heart always trying his best.
I was so glad that I was able to tell my friend that the one bad thing she had heard was not the whole truth about my other long-time friend. I was glad to point out to her that he is my friend and I like him even though he's not perfect and if he was her next-door neighbor, she would be glad as well. This one bad report is not even close to the truth about who my friend is in reality.
I was driving home and was mulling over this 90 second part of my conversation with my friend of many years. I don't think ill of her for having this opinion. After all the person who told her was one that would know the truth. Unfortunately that person who gave the information had hurt and bitterness in his heart. He came to this opinion because he had been hurt by my friend. That's natural to focus on the hurt and not see the good.
Then I was thinking about how our God has got a bad rap. Every day on TV, movies, in books, radio etc we hear of "Acts of God" or horrible world events that bring about such pain and sorrow. Earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, fires, and tragedies of all sorts are blamed on our God everyday. People even kill other people in the Name of our God. It should break our hearts when people blame our Heavenly Father for such events.
I'm not here to try to convince you that God's in control or not in control. He's God and I don't have to defend Him to anyone who does not know His true nature. But just like my friend I've known since childhood, I know my Heavenly Father's true character. He's not out punishing or hurting people to show His wrath on a sinful world. If he wanted to send a message to Japan, or America or any other place in the world, he would not do it by slaughtering people. Dead people cannot repent. But we do God no favors by saying He's out to punish sinful people.
I know many see the Old Testament of the Bible and say that is who God is.... but God so loved the world that He GAVE is only Son that whoever would BELIEVE (on what Jesus accomplished) would have ever lasting life. (John 3:16)
Maybe it's true that God was mad at humankind.... I'm not a theologian, I'm just a person who believes in what Jesus did for me. And since Jesus took all the sin, sorrow, shame of the whole world for all of time, I know that all of that has been taken care of.... no more payment necessary. So that means God is not mad anymore. Jesus took care of it.
Mercy is about not getting what we deserve. My kids do naughty things sometimes and I don't punish them. They might deserve to be grounded or have a privilege revoked, but I'm merciful and just don't punish them. That's a good thing in their eyes. But even when they are not doing what I like, I still give them everything they need and even things they want. (shocking isn't it!) I love them and go beyond mercy and give them grace. I think it's that grace I extend that allows them to see--even on the roughest of days--how much I love them.
Don't worry. I do discipline them as necessary because I love them and don't want their wrong-doings to negatively affect them. So far, they have always made good choices after they have seen the truth about what could hurt them. That' what good parents do. They help their children make good and healthy choices in life.
Grace is about getting what we don't deserve. We are saved by grace (unmerited, unearned favor) by faith in what Jesus accomplished for us so that none of us can boast in our own good deeds. (Ephesians 2:8) The gospel or the Good News of what Jesus did is the power of God unto salvation to all who choose to believe. We forget that it's the Good News about what He did that can change our hearts and transform our lives. Knowing He loves us makes us want to do good. Doing good is a natural bi-product of knowing His love and grace.
Fear of punishment might sway us not to do bad....but it won't encourage us to do good. What if my children heard that I was going to harm them after a mistake? They probably would not come home if they believed that type of lie. Perfect love casts out fear....my children don't fear punishment even if they do wrong and they will run to us to help them rather than run away fearing punishment.
Hearing bad news about God will only hinder people from receiving His goodness and grace. They will run away from Him due to a mis-representation of Him. Sad that He's got such a bad rap-- People will fear Him and avoid Him.
The Good News (Gospel) is the power of God unto salvation to everyone who BELIEVES. Romans 1:16
What she said, hurt me very deeply. Not that what she said was not the truth but that I knew this person and he was in my book one of the "good guys". I put him in a category of being a hero and a loyal friend. Someone whom I would call if I ever needed anything.
I don't blame my friend for believing this piece of information. It might have even been 100% true.... but I knew 99 things about this person from personal experience that shows me that he is of a good character. Not perfect --but in his heart always trying his best.
I was so glad that I was able to tell my friend that the one bad thing she had heard was not the whole truth about my other long-time friend. I was glad to point out to her that he is my friend and I like him even though he's not perfect and if he was her next-door neighbor, she would be glad as well. This one bad report is not even close to the truth about who my friend is in reality.
I was driving home and was mulling over this 90 second part of my conversation with my friend of many years. I don't think ill of her for having this opinion. After all the person who told her was one that would know the truth. Unfortunately that person who gave the information had hurt and bitterness in his heart. He came to this opinion because he had been hurt by my friend. That's natural to focus on the hurt and not see the good.
Then I was thinking about how our God has got a bad rap. Every day on TV, movies, in books, radio etc we hear of "Acts of God" or horrible world events that bring about such pain and sorrow. Earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, fires, and tragedies of all sorts are blamed on our God everyday. People even kill other people in the Name of our God. It should break our hearts when people blame our Heavenly Father for such events.
I'm not here to try to convince you that God's in control or not in control. He's God and I don't have to defend Him to anyone who does not know His true nature. But just like my friend I've known since childhood, I know my Heavenly Father's true character. He's not out punishing or hurting people to show His wrath on a sinful world. If he wanted to send a message to Japan, or America or any other place in the world, he would not do it by slaughtering people. Dead people cannot repent. But we do God no favors by saying He's out to punish sinful people.
I know many see the Old Testament of the Bible and say that is who God is.... but God so loved the world that He GAVE is only Son that whoever would BELIEVE (on what Jesus accomplished) would have ever lasting life. (John 3:16)
Maybe it's true that God was mad at humankind.... I'm not a theologian, I'm just a person who believes in what Jesus did for me. And since Jesus took all the sin, sorrow, shame of the whole world for all of time, I know that all of that has been taken care of.... no more payment necessary. So that means God is not mad anymore. Jesus took care of it.
Mercy is about not getting what we deserve. My kids do naughty things sometimes and I don't punish them. They might deserve to be grounded or have a privilege revoked, but I'm merciful and just don't punish them. That's a good thing in their eyes. But even when they are not doing what I like, I still give them everything they need and even things they want. (shocking isn't it!) I love them and go beyond mercy and give them grace. I think it's that grace I extend that allows them to see--even on the roughest of days--how much I love them.
Don't worry. I do discipline them as necessary because I love them and don't want their wrong-doings to negatively affect them. So far, they have always made good choices after they have seen the truth about what could hurt them. That' what good parents do. They help their children make good and healthy choices in life.
Grace is about getting what we don't deserve. We are saved by grace (unmerited, unearned favor) by faith in what Jesus accomplished for us so that none of us can boast in our own good deeds. (Ephesians 2:8) The gospel or the Good News of what Jesus did is the power of God unto salvation to all who choose to believe. We forget that it's the Good News about what He did that can change our hearts and transform our lives. Knowing He loves us makes us want to do good. Doing good is a natural bi-product of knowing His love and grace.
Fear of punishment might sway us not to do bad....but it won't encourage us to do good. What if my children heard that I was going to harm them after a mistake? They probably would not come home if they believed that type of lie. Perfect love casts out fear....my children don't fear punishment even if they do wrong and they will run to us to help them rather than run away fearing punishment.
Hearing bad news about God will only hinder people from receiving His goodness and grace. They will run away from Him due to a mis-representation of Him. Sad that He's got such a bad rap-- People will fear Him and avoid Him.
The Good News (Gospel) is the power of God unto salvation to everyone who BELIEVES. Romans 1:16
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
A Picture of God's Grace
A mom is sitting in the family room attending her little ones when the younger one hits the older. Tears flow and anger is obvious. The mom says to her youngest, "You hurt your sister. " NO! I didn't did it!" "Can you give your sister a hug?" NO! I don't have any hugs in my heart!" Mom sighs and hears that small voice inside of her...."Come here then, baby. I will give you a hug so you will have one in your heart to share with your sister."
Isn't that a perfect picture of God's grace? We can go to the source --our Jesus--for a hug in our hearts to pass on to those who need it most. We can't do that in the natural....it's supernatural.
The Gospel is the power of God unto salvation for everyone who believes. (Romans 1:16) We believe that Jesus did everything we need for life and godliness. We can believe that He did the work so that we can rest in His goodness and grace.
Isn't that a perfect picture of God's grace? We can go to the source --our Jesus--for a hug in our hearts to pass on to those who need it most. We can't do that in the natural....it's supernatural.
The Gospel is the power of God unto salvation for everyone who believes. (Romans 1:16) We believe that Jesus did everything we need for life and godliness. We can believe that He did the work so that we can rest in His goodness and grace.
Friday, February 18, 2011
The Center of His Will Even on "Bad" Days.
Psalm 139: 11-12
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
I was having a rough day yesterday. I felt full of fear and not at all spiritually mature. Someone suggested that I ask the Father to minister to my heart. Sounded way too simple. This is what He did for me.
I was weepy and feeling like I must be out of His will since I was looking at what seemed like failures. A bad day seems to magnify our weakness and cast light on our doubts and fears rather than on the Good Work that He continues to do in us.
My husband offered to rub my neck since it has been bothering me this past week. My husband was praying in the Spirit for me and in complete gentleness the Holy Spirit asked me why I felt like I was out of His will.... I had no real answer -- a messy week of blunders. Then he brought back to my remembrance a day 16 years ago.
Back then I was struggling with severe daily depression so badly it was hard to get out of bed and get dressed. I had a beautiful toddler and she was the center of my human existence. We went to Walmart for some diapers and some supplies. I was standing in line to purchase what was in my cart and I was playing "peek-a-poo" and have a good time with my little girl. She was smiling and I was smiling. It was a heaven on earth moment that I took for granted.
I made my purchase and left the store. I was putting my precious child in her car seat when He said to me. "A woman decided to keep her baby because she saw how much you loved your little girl."
Talk about a burst of ETERNAL LIFE! I wept for a minute and thanked Him for using me that way.
Last night the Father reminded me of that day 16 years ago. You know what? It gave me that same explosion of Eternity shining into my existence. It made me see that "bad" days and good days are all the same to God. He said to me that I'm right in the center of His will even if I feel like a bug or a bug's spittle.
Yesterday my feelings lied to me and I chose to believe them. But when I asked the Father to show me the truth it was BEAUTY in me that I had no idea about. He showed me that I am right in the center of His will even on those days. He looked ahead and knew that I would whisper a prayer, or smile at someone, or hand them just a few dollars for lunch. Even these things that seems so tiny in the universe, can make a UNIVERSE of difference to someone.
I will never know their name but there is a young man or young woman out there in the world today because I was in the center of His will and purpose even in a season that looked like garbage to me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
I was having a rough day yesterday. I felt full of fear and not at all spiritually mature. Someone suggested that I ask the Father to minister to my heart. Sounded way too simple. This is what He did for me.
I was weepy and feeling like I must be out of His will since I was looking at what seemed like failures. A bad day seems to magnify our weakness and cast light on our doubts and fears rather than on the Good Work that He continues to do in us.
My husband offered to rub my neck since it has been bothering me this past week. My husband was praying in the Spirit for me and in complete gentleness the Holy Spirit asked me why I felt like I was out of His will.... I had no real answer -- a messy week of blunders. Then he brought back to my remembrance a day 16 years ago.
Back then I was struggling with severe daily depression so badly it was hard to get out of bed and get dressed. I had a beautiful toddler and she was the center of my human existence. We went to Walmart for some diapers and some supplies. I was standing in line to purchase what was in my cart and I was playing "peek-a-poo" and have a good time with my little girl. She was smiling and I was smiling. It was a heaven on earth moment that I took for granted.
I made my purchase and left the store. I was putting my precious child in her car seat when He said to me. "A woman decided to keep her baby because she saw how much you loved your little girl."
Talk about a burst of ETERNAL LIFE! I wept for a minute and thanked Him for using me that way.
Last night the Father reminded me of that day 16 years ago. You know what? It gave me that same explosion of Eternity shining into my existence. It made me see that "bad" days and good days are all the same to God. He said to me that I'm right in the center of His will even if I feel like a bug or a bug's spittle.
Yesterday my feelings lied to me and I chose to believe them. But when I asked the Father to show me the truth it was BEAUTY in me that I had no idea about. He showed me that I am right in the center of His will even on those days. He looked ahead and knew that I would whisper a prayer, or smile at someone, or hand them just a few dollars for lunch. Even these things that seems so tiny in the universe, can make a UNIVERSE of difference to someone.
I will never know their name but there is a young man or young woman out there in the world today because I was in the center of His will and purpose even in a season that looked like garbage to me.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
When Life is OVER your Head.
A memory from when I was a little girl in the 1970s. All the snow our country is experiencing brought back this memory to me and I though maybe someone would be encouraged by it as well.
We awoke and opened the door to the porch and the snow was over the door way. I have never seen before or since then such snow drifts. I was only about 10yo and my only thought was the poor dogs!
I said, "Dad, our poor dogs are buried!!!" He said, "Well, start digging little girl!"
He had a shovel and me with my mittens (I was bundled up like a northern girl would be). We dug and dug and 150 feet later we made it to the hunting dog's little huts. They were so glad to see us! Dad brought out warm water and slop for them.
I played with them for a little bit and we went inside for lunch. I was so worried but my Dad knew the whole time they were all cozy in their beds of straw. The dogs didn't look too worried either.
This memory just reminds me of how much our Heavenly Father has it all under control even when things are over our heads, He's got a plan.
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