Excerpt chapt 15 Night Seasons

Chapter 15
~Night Seasons
“I will bless the LORD, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons.”

We are now to the section in Psalm 16 that addresses ‘night seasons’. A ‘night season’ can be defined as a season of time where one can feel stuck in a pit of despair. There is no assignment of time to this season, but for some it can seem like a lifetime. My experience with a ‘night season’ cannot and should not be compared to another. I had the faithfulness of my husband by my side and many loving church family members, as well as my loving natural family members, to encourage me on in my relationship with Christ.


You know by now that the “Hedged in by God's Grace” Bible study was birthed out this very difficult season of my life. The winter of 2007 was a black hole of despondency. I was convinced this was a physical and emotional barrage from hell. I knew Satan wanted me to believe I was never going to have healing and never going to live a life of victory. I knew he was a liar but, honestly, there were days I could have given up and believed the lies over what I believed was contained in God's Word.


Medication was not working. Rest was not working. Praying and reading the Word was not working. I was basically crippled in my mind and body. Depression is not just about being sad. I knew I had nothing to feel sad about. A brain chemical imbalance robs your ability to think clearly and robs you of who you really are meant to be as a person. It is like wearing a lead blanket and walking in mud up to your knees all the while weeping for "no reason".


In the winter of 2007 a few weeks of prescribed medication did bring a modest balance to my brain chemicals. I could stay awake for most of the day, and at this point I could travel with my husband to church as well as undertake short shopping trips. This was an accomplishment considering my only other outings, for the most part, were to my doctor’s office.

In Psalms 16: 7, the word ‘reins’ speaks of our center parts (literally kidney or organ) from which our emotions spring forth. I think we might call this the soul, mind, will, and emotions. Other versions of the Bible call it the heart. So when your heart gives you counsel it is telling you something from a soulish or carnal perspective. Carnal is not necessarily an evil thought; it’s just a thought that is from a human perspective.


I don't know about you, but during certain times of my life, I've been pretty fickle in my heart. One day I'm whining and complaining and the next everything is sunny. So my heart is not reliable. The Word of God, however, is perfectly reliable. I do believe that we can train our heart to believe God's Word over our circumstances, but realistically we better not rely on our hearts during the difficult seasons of life. I am convinced that what the author of Psalms 16 is attempting to communicate is that we should not walk by sight but by faith when it comes to things of the heart. (2 Corinthians 5:7)


I recently looked more closely in the Strong’s Concordance at the last phrase in this verse and discovered that ‘night seasons’ (layil) means “gloom”. I looked up the root of this word and I was amazed. This root word means "staircase, winding stair, shaft or enclosed space with steps or ladder."

How many of us who have "fallen" into depression felt it was like being trapped in a deep, dark pit with a winding stairwell? I recall one friend calling it the “downward spiral” of life. I will attempt to share a very personal and scary event before I experienced healing manifested in my life.


In the early spring of 2007, after enduring a very long hard winter while unsuccessfully trying different medications to fight depression, it was then, in the middle of the night, I awoke screaming. This had never happened to me before and it was extremely frightening for both my husband and myself. Before the panic completely gripped me and I was left unable to physically speak, I pleaded for my husband to pray in the Spirit for me.


In my mind, I was being dragged down a deep, dark stairwell. I could not see the person dragging me, but could feel his grip. I could see it was a winding stairwell and I didn't understand the significance until I read the meaning of the word ‘night season’. I could hear my husband praying in the Spirit and then I heard the Holy Spirit say; "Now you are going to count the steps as you come up."


In my mind I could see the first step leading up from that evil pit. I could barely force my vocal cords to move, "one" but it was audible. "Two," while panic was still gripping me. "Three," and my speech was only a garble. I slowly counted the steps upward. My dear husband had no idea at the time why I would be counting. I’m sure it frightened him to his core.

By the time I got to seven or eight I knew I was going to be okay. I can’t remember how high I had to count, but I didn’t stop counting the steps until, in my mind, I reached the top of the stairwell. This seemed so real in my thinking, and if the Holy Spirit had not instructed me to come up those stairs, I'm certain I would have been hospitalized that night. Even after all these years, it still brings tears to my eyes as I try to relate this event to you.


My emotions desperately tried to dictate to me that night. Fear and torment thought it had won, but the counsel of the Holy Spirit made all the difference and I WILL BLESS HIS NAME!

Verse 8 of Psalms 16 is like a continuation of the thought in verse 7. ”I have set the LORD always before me; Because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.” Before studying this verse in depth, I thought this word ‘set’ meant the same as when we set a book on a shelf or vase of flowers on a mantle. My understanding of it was that we would know just where the LORD would be when we needed Him.

This word ‘set’ or shavah, in fact, means to “agree with, or resemble”. It also means to set in place, like one would set the time on a clock or set in place a standard or belief. When we set the LORD before us we are setting a paradigm and we know that nothing can move that standard. We set our thermostats to our climate control devices in our home or car and know that it is secure. As the elements outside are raging heat or a fierce winter blast , our inside dwelling place is a perfect 70 degrees Fahrenheit.

We can purpose to ‘set’ the LORD, and what we know about His nature, as well as our inheritance, firmly in our heart (reins). We can feel confident that we are committed to adopt what we know is the truth and we will not be swayed by the circumstances around us or the raging storms that may barrage us in life. I call this “cementing the understanding” in your heart, so nothing can persuade you otherwise.

You may want to do a word study in your Bible on the Names of God in order to be more familiar with His character. By knowing the nature of God we can feel secure in our relationship with Him.

For I'm going to your house TODAY!!!

I'm so delighted with the grace message. Jesus comes in the middle of our messy lives and He changes us. No striving. No fixing ourselves up to be good enough. We are transformed not by our 'good works' but by His Spirit. I'm excited to be getting new revelation of Grace everyday.

I was thinking about Sunday School songs and how some of them might give us the wrong impression of Grace. Some songs might cause us to believe that we have to strive to be accepted and used of the Lord. We need to have it cemented in our hearts and minds that we are saved by grace through faith (Eph 2:8) and the same is true after we are born-again. We are not striving to get God's favor or approval but resting or accepting by faith that Jesus has paid the whole price for every messy thing in our lives.

I was thinking about the song "Zacchaeus was a Wee Little Man". You can listen here if you never had this song in your Sunday School growing up.

Take a minute and think about this account in the Gospels. Zacchaeus was a tax-collector. I'm not sure who was despised more in Jesus era, the tax-collectors or the prostitutes. But somehow Zacchaeus knew that Jesus must be the answer to the emptiness in his life. He didn't want to be spat upon by the crowds since he knew they hated him. He skulked in the shadows and since he was a short man, he climbed up a tree to try to see and possibly hear better as Jesus was walking and talking with the crowds of people.

Some must have been whispering, "Zacchaeus is up in the tree....why in the world would he think Jesus would want him hanging around...?"

He said, "Zacchaeus, come down from there! Today I am going to your house." That was outrageous! Jesus going to the house of such a sinner. He was probably considered the worst scoundrel in town. He was the worst of the worst and Jesus was going to his house for fellowship?

Zacheous didn't argue with Jesus. He didn't say, "Lord, give me a day to clean stuff up in my house". He must have had all types of messes around. He must have had sinfulness in every corner of his dwelling place.

He allowed the Lord in! He allowed the Lord to enter his messy dwelling. It says in Luke 19 "So he hurried and came down, and he received and welcomed Him joyfully." And Jesus didn't tell him to get anything ready or clean anything up. He was not expecting a perfect reception. Just that He wanted to be welcomed.

People were indignant! They could not understand why Jesus would fellowship with such a sinner. It says that Zacchaeus heard the people grumbling. He felt he must DO something. He said he would give half of his money to the poor and restore back 4 times what he stole from people. He was loved by Jesus and it changed him but keep in mind that he said this to appease the people who where grumbling.

I wonder what we say in response to what others think of us?

Look how Jesus responded: Today is salvation come to this household, since Zacchaeus too is a son of Abraham; For the Son of Man came to seek and to save that which was lost.

Then Jesus tells a parable to cement this concept deep within the hearts of the people. You remember the one servant who hid his minas in the ground for fear that he would be punished by the King. This man expected punishment. His reward was punishment. Jesus was attempting to drive it home that people do not need to fear punishment from the Father. He sent His Son to seek and save the lost. He sent His Son to bring a fulfillment to the Law so that sin would no longer separate us from the Father. No more payment is expected.

Then Jesus says a very profound statement. "I tell you that to everyone who gets and has will more be given,(you get and have His grace) but from the man who does not get and does not have, even what he has will be taken away. The indignant king ended by saying But as for these enemies of mine who did not want me to reign over them--bring them here and slaughter them in my presence!" Jesus desired for us to know for certain that we are only saved by grace through faith. We can't do stuff to be made good enough for His righteousness.

I'm sure the people were shocked and I'm very certain that Zacchaeus' life was transformed by His grace.

Excerpt: Hedged in by God's Grace P. 70-73

At an early age, I knew I was saved by God's grace and would make it to Heaven based on what Jesus accomplished, but I had the mentality that I had to do something to gain God's favor. I somehow got it twisted in my mind that I was legitimized by my actions. I thought I had to pray just so and read just so many chapters in the Bible or accomplish just so many acts of service before God would even glance my direction. This dissatisfying way of life was emotionally and physically exhausting. It was like two steps forward and ten steps back.

This mindset was what prevented me from living the life that God had intended for me. Rather than knowing I was justified by Christ, I thought I had to be just so good. I had a very limited view of God's grace. Grace is defined as unmerited favor.

Most Believers do not argue the concept of "saved by grace", but when someone is already born-again, we tell them they must be perfectly clean and stay that way for God to ever see fit to use them for His purposes. We can never be perfect enough or clean enough by our own merit.

It delighted me to discover that, for the Believer our lives do not have to mirror the disappointing board game of "Chutes and Ladders" with a mentality that we go two steps forward and then ten steps back. It is extremely satisfying to know that God is NOT waiting to push me down the chutes of despair when I make less-than holy choices. I am so thankful to have the perception that God wants us going from glory to glory and not up ladder and down chutes. (2Cor 3:18)

I know I now have a healthier view of who I am in Christ and I am reminded from Psalm 16:3 "As for the godly, (the saints) who are in the land, they are the excellent, the noble and the glorious in whom is all my delight."