If It's Not Good News, It's Not Jesus

I had a dream about five years ago and it is only recently that I understand it. It was somewhat disturbing at the time I had the dream probably due to the constant struggle of depression and the anxiety disorder that pummeled my mind daily.

I dreamed I was running from something or someone. I was unfamiliar with where I was at. I eventually realized I was in a maze of some sort. The people I saw were people I knew but no one would talk to me. It was like I was a stranger to them. I would ask them a question about how to get out of the maze and they all looked at me like that was a stupid question to ask. Some looked at me in disgust and acted like they were afraid to get too close. I began to feel a lot of shame and felt like people were pointing and whispering all the while I felt like something or someone would soon "catch" me if I didn't keep moving.

The dream was one of those bottomless pits of uncertainty. I felt anxious and confused. I am the type of person who prefers to plan my route and this was one uncertain turn after another.

I finally got to a clearing. It was like a round courtyard. There were several other openings that came from the same maze that I had just tried to escape. In the center of the courtyard, up on a small platform was who I thought was Jesus. His back was to me so I was unsure it was really Him. So I ran to Him. I cried out His name as soon as I saw His face. BUT He was scowling at me. There was a look of contempt on His face. I wept bitter tears, kneeling in front of my savior... I felt hopelessness and began to feel a dark gloomy cloud was settling on my body.

My dear friend of many years appeared to me in the dream as I was weeping before this angry god. She told me to get up and this was NOT Jesus.

I awoke with extreme emotion.

I now know that if it is not Good News, it is not Jesus. That dream was a revelation from my Savior that He is not hard to find and not angry with me. He paid all the price so I could come boldly before the Throne of Grace. I'm set free by His love and He would never leave me, reject me or put my to shame. All my sin was removed from me as far as the east is from the west. I now realize I do not need to feel driven by someone or something and I am free to love and be loved.