Be angry and sin not: A law I put myself under Part 1

I'm still learning and unlearning many things when it comes to God's grace. I discovered recently that I had been putting myself under a law I had made especially for myself. In Ephesians 2:6 it says When you are angry do not sin and don't let the sun go down on your wrath. Sounds like a good plan--but I will show you how keeping this law has actually brought sorrow to my life.

I have heard at least a half-dozen sermons or teaching on this subject and they all sound pretty good but NONE of those sermons have ever set me free from behavior that is associated with my anger--my personal sin that came with personal consequences.

I'm really not into comparing sin and I know my anger issue cannot be compared to an others. (some of you might think my anger is sissy stuff compared to your own OR you might be shocked at the unloveliness of sin resulting from my angry feelings). Regardless, I've been negatively affected by the consequences of anger in my life. I have been wondering for several weeks now why God's amazing grace has transformed my life in so many areas, but not in the area of being angry and then followed by sinful behavior.

Over and over this past several weeks I would hear in my spirit "Be angry and then don't allow condemnation...." and I would dissect the scripture in Eph 2:6 and in the original language it was not the word condemnation or really anything to do with condemnation. It was the word SIN but still OVER and OVER I hear: Be angry and then don't allow condemnation..." I know the Holy Spirit was trying to teach me something vital about the anger issue I constantly feel so badly about. So I asked Him to show me where He was going with it. He said, "Allowing condemnation is sin"....again I felt clueless.

I have known the scriptures in the New Testament about anger and unwholesome speech since I was a young child. Eph 2:6 "When you are angry do not sin...." and Eph 4:29 "Do not allow any unwholesome speech proceed from your mouth..." which is usually the result of my being angry. So I'm not ignorant to the scriptures, but I was ignorant to what the actual sin was AFTER the anger was aroused.

Was my behavior continuing because I allowed condemnation to be present after I felt angry? The wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ. The death in my case was the condemnation I experienced from guilt and shame about my behavior. The anger was well past but I suffered for hours or days due to my view of myself. The condemnation was the issue NOT the anger.