My hope is built on nothing less--God's Grace!

I know it's pretty obvious that we are not going to bump into our brother or sister in Christ next week and have the following conversation:

"Hi Mary. Where are you going with that young heifer?"
"Oh Susan, I'm going to the pagan temple around the corner to offer this animal as a sacrifice so I can get my healing (or peace or joy or satisfaction in my family or recognition for my service etc)."
"But Mary, you know God's Word says that we are to stay clear of idol worship. We should only worship God. You know that Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice so you would have total salvation and all your needs are met in Him."
"I know, Susan, but I have tried over and over again to get God to love me with all kinds of deeds like reading my bible and praying for the unsaved to come to him. I've fasted and given money to the poor and I've taught Sunday School and played the piano at every Wednesday night service for the past 7 years but nothing- NOTHING has caused God to bless me or take away my fears or heal my body. I'm trying the pagan temple since nothing else has worked."

Psalms 16: 4 Their sorrows shall be multiplied who hasten after another god;
Their drink offerings of blood I will not offer,
Nor take up their names on my lips.

This part of the Psalms 16 seems so much different than the rest of the 10 verses. It's different so you will pay attention and ask yourself what you have been offering to God to get him to bless you. What deeds have you been doing -religiously--in order to feel like you are measuring up to God's standards?

When you fall short of what you think God expects do you find a way to please Him? Are you bringing offering of blood--not Jesus' Blood-- to His alter? Jesus died a gruesome death and paid way above the cost for your sin and the sin of the whole world. You don't have to keep bringing offerings of your own efforts--in your own flesh --to get God to like you or love you or to bless you.

Are you trying to live out the Christian walk in your own efforts? I know I did for many, many years--decades in fact. I would religiously read my Bible but I was reading it to get points in my walk with God. If I missed reading my Bible I thought that was points against me. If I prayed for someone then I felt like God was bending his ear to me but rarely did I see answered prayer. One minute I pictured God the Father smiling at my actions and the next he would not glance toward my direction. I was offering my flesh, my own deeds, my own filthy rags rather than just thanking Him for the sacrifice already offered on my behalf.

We need to read the Word of God to get our minds renewed not to get God to like us. He loves us just the same as He loves His Son Jesus. Jesus who had no sin became sin so we who were sinful could exchange our sinfulness for His righteousness.

I'm a visual learner so try to picture this with me: It's like He is wearing a beautiful, shining, white robe and we are wearing a filthy, ragged, vomit soaked, blacken garment and just because of His GRACE we get to switch the robes and we are wearing the perfectly clean one and Jesus takes the shame. It's just that simple. I can't do ANYTHING to make myself clean. He did it ALL!

I am only righteousness because of what Christ has done. Romans 3:25

I have exchanged my filthy rags for His perfection. Philippians 3:3

I am seated with Christ in heavenly places. Ephesian 2:6

I have died, was buried and arose with Christ. Romans 6:4

When fear or pain or lack attacks me, I don't have to go and make sure I've prayed for 4 hours today or read 5 chapters in my bible. No, I just remind the enemy that the sacrifice of Jesus is what makes me righteous and I can go BOLDLY to the Throne of Grace knowing that my Father accepts me and will rise up and destroy my enemies.

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

Refrain:
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand

When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

Refrain:
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

—Edward Mote (1797-1874)

Knowing who you are so the enemy can't cross your boundaries

Verse 3 of Psalms 16 gives us insight into God's opinion of His people.
As for the godly (the saints) who are in the land, they are the excellent, the noble, and the glorious, in whom is all my delight.

Does this verse in Psalms 16 sounds like something you've read before? How about when the Holy Spirit descended on Jesus at his baptism, "behold a voice out of the cloud, which said, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him."

God delights in us! He delights in us and wants to lavish his children with blessings.

What else does God's Word say about His children?

I am reconciled to God - 2 Cor 5:18
I'm a child of God - He is my Father - 1 Jn 3:1,2
I am Christ's friend - Jn 15:15
I am a fellow citizen in God's kingdom - Eph 2:19
I am born of God - 1 Jn 4:7
I have been brought near to Christ - Eph 2:13
I have direct access to God - Eph 2:18
I am a citizen of heaven - Phil 3:20
I am an heir of God - Rom 8:17
I am a joint heir with Christ - Rom 8:17; Gal 4:7
I am hidden with Christ in God - Col 3:3
I am blessed with every spiritual blessing - Eph 1:3
I am chosen of God - holy, beloved - Col 3:12
I am a partaker of Christ - Heb 3:14
I'm a member of a royal priesthood - 1 Pet 2:9
I'm redeemed and forgiven - Eph 1:6-8
I've been justified - made righteous - Rom 5:1
I died w/Christ to the power of sin - Rom 6:1-6
I am free from condemnation - Rom 8:1
I have received the Spirit of God -1 Cor 2:12
I have been given the mind of Christ - 1 Cor 2:16
I'm chosen and appointed to bear fruit - Jn 15:16
I have been crucified with Christ - Gal 2:20
I am called to do the works of Christ - Jn 14:12
I am a new creation - 2 Cor 5:17
I have been made alive with Christ - Eph 2:5
I have been given spiritual authority - Lk 10:19
I have received fullness in Christ - Col 2:10

If this is new to you and you have not come across any teaching previously that explains who you really are in Christ, I want to challenge you today to renew your mind with this scripture so that you can begin to know deep down that you are a new creation in Christ Jesus, that all things have passed away and all things are now new! You are not the old person being fixed up but a BRAND NEW creation that only can be accomplished by the work of the Holy Spirit.

Dear Father in Jesus' Name we ask that you would cement deep in our minds and hearts an understanding and wisdom to know who we really are in Christ Jesus. Open our eyes to the TRUTH of your Word that we are not 'ol sinners saved (just barely saved) by grace but that we are overcomers ready to go forth and bring the Good News to those who need to hear. Bring a deeper revelation to us of who we really are.

A song from Hillsong keeps ringing in my heart:

cuz the enemys been defeated
death couldnt hold you down
gonna lift our voice in victory
gonna make your praises loud (x6)

shout out to god with a voice of triumph
shout out to god with a voice of praise
shout out to god with a voice of triumph
we lift your name up
we lift your name up (x4)

Roaring lions--symptoms of being out of balance in our boundaries

These are notes from my journal about a year ago. I was just starting to see some health in the area of my boundaries and I wanted to preserve how it feels to be out of balance so I could go back and review so I can stay within healthy boundaries for myself.

The ladies in my Bible study know I call these symptoms "Roaring Lions" since God will allow us to be so uncomfortable so we will run back to the safety of the hedge of the Kingdom of God. Righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit are "symptoms" of being within God's boundaries for us. When we are void of peace or joy then we can ask ourselves: Am I out of God's will? Am I allowing others to overstep my boundaries? Have I allowed satan to steal and destroy in my life because of my lack of knowledge about God's will for my life? Jesus said he came that I might have life and have it more abundantly so when I'm robbed of joy or peace or my health I know I can rightfully pursue what is mine and demand that satan relinquish what is rightfully mine.

Roaring Lions--
feeling out of balance
--yo yo feeling of going from being super busy to shutting out the whole world so you can be at peace
--you are wishy-washy one minute on disciplining kids or the next time you are way over the top being punitive or harsh
--changing your mind from day to day about what will bring you joy and peace
--someone in your life just can't take the drama any longer...
--
living life from mountain top to valley
--joy is constant and happiness is a choice.
--what are you speaking aloud to your spirit?

emotions like a pendulum
--you are considering yourself a coo coo clock of emotions. Very happy to very depressed within a 48 hour period.
family members taking you for granted
--you are overwhelmed with too much responsibility and no one seems to notice
--you said yes, yes, yes, yes, NO! and your head popped off
--you felt guilty about saying no and changed your mind the next hour.
--you said yes but felt very taken advantage of...no one can take advantage of you if you don't let them
feeling anxious for no good reason (the out of the blue type of anxiety)
--panic attacks while doing everyday normal activities
--avoiding normal activities for fear of having an anxiety attack
stuffing feelings or feeling raw years after forgiveness has taken place
--stuffing feelings are still there--deep and building pressure
fearing people and what they think over what God thinks
--you say yes, because if you say no then they will be disappointed and then you will feel so guilty that you will have to say yes, double next time
--what does it mean to fear God?
needing to learn to say no and sticking to it
--you can learn to say no. It does not hurt as much as saying yes, and falling flat on your face by being out of God's will
being motivated by guilt
--allowing others to control you with guilt is turning your back on what God intended for you to do
--learn to break the torment of rejection in your life
--letting others cry out to God and you not having to be their savior
--no joy, no peace and tired all the time
--So tired of being so tired?
fearful of reaching out to minister
--after years of saying yes and being miserable you go out of balance the other direction and fear helping anyone because you fell flat on your face out of God's will
wrong thinking that pervades normal thought process--not taking captive every thought...
--equating God's love with doing. Thinking the Father wants you to do every good deed that comes your way
feeling like if you are not "kind" then you are a failure as a Christian
--being kind is not always kind--you can cripple people by always doing for them.
depressed and can't function normal everyday activities
--you've reached critical melt-down and it will now take a clean up of mass production to make you whole again.

Where to start?
--getting a healthy view of God the Father
--renewing your mind with the Word of God
--repenting of not seeking Him and His will first
--daily asking God for wisdom about what you should be apart of
--stop living on what worked last season of your life
--fueling up--God's Word as meat Cake is sweeter but only has value for a minute but meat will sustain your body and give you the energy to complete what God desires

Missing a dear friend--what Jeff taught me about healthy boundaries

It was 10 years ago this month that Jeff's mother called to tell me that he passed into eternity. I was so shocked that I must have seemed insensitive to his dear, sweet mother. I just assumed that since so many were praying that she had called to tell me he had received his new heart and was recovering in Norfolk, VA where he was in the hospital. I was shocked that he was actually in the presence of the Father.

I think one of the reasons Jeff and I got along when we were in college was that I was pretty ignorant to the fact that he was even ill. The signs were there but his attitude was so amazing that honestly I didn't think about a heart defect but only that Jeff was one of the strongest persons I knew and when he decided to go after something there was no stopping him. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" was not only one of his favorite scriptures but also his motto in life. He loved learning something new every week and I used to joke around with him that his resume was going to be as thick as the Detroit phone book by age 25.

I would actually be annoyed with him when I said this but I didn't understand that he knew that his days on earth were not like mine and he needed to fulfill what God called him to and he didn't have 80+ years to accomplish this task. So when he heard God say do this or that, he didn't wait for much confirmation but just jumped in and did it. He may have had a bit of a work-a-holic thing going on but his motives were not to get rich (he was always giving stuff and his money away) but to bless others and bless God.

If you wanted to annoy Jeff all you had to do was tell him to slow down and enjoy life a little. I may not have understood it at the time but he was enjoying life -- just not slowing down to do it. I'm a little embarrassed now about the times I attemped to fit Jeff into my ideal friend who would just stop and smell the roses. He didn't have time for roses and made that abundantly clear. So I smelled the roses for him.

He did however have time for worship. That was the only time I ever saw him sit still. He entered into praise and worship with the same passion as he did his work and making all the behind the scences stuff work perfectly. He knew that people would give compliments to the worship team or the performers at on the stage during the public radio and tv presentations but he knew that the reality was that he made them sound better by his skill. No one else knew that. Jeff knew that God appreciated his skill.

So when Jeff entered into worship of the Most High, he did it knowing that only his best was good enough. He said if you're not going to do your best then don't do it at all. This attitude was especially true when he worshipped his Savior. So it's not hard for me to imagine him singing right now, "Worthy, worthy worthy is the Lord God Almighty!" He didn't talk much about being sick so I can't tell you what his views were on healing but I know he didn't use his lack of healing as an excuse not to pursue the heart of God.

Since this blog is about how to pursue healthy boundaries, I will reflect on what I learned from Jeff about being strong and doing what God has called us to do even when the circumstances seem impossible. I think if he could have done it over again he would not have worried at all about the small stuff and would tell us that most everthing is the small stuff. Don't worry if someone doesn't like you. Don't worry if people get annoyed. Don't worry if others don't understand your calling or your gifts and abilities. Don't worry if you have to say no to someone who is demanding all your attention. They will get over it. Do what you know is God's will. Do stop and worship. Do stop and take time to encourage others to follow after God. Do everything with passion or don't do it at all. Do put God first in everything you do.

My youth and beginning journey to healthy boundaries

Learning to have healthy boundaries for me started when I was about 19. I was living with a couple from the Church I attended while in college. These solid Christians were bold enough to tell me the truth in love about my lack of boundaries in my life. I was far to vulnerable to satanic attacks because I was allowing the enemy to rob me of my joy, peace and even my emotional health. I was unwittingly allowing satan to cross my boundaries. I lived by my emotions and it was a roller coaster for me each and every day. Spiritually I was saved and baptized in the Holy Spirit and was on fire about serving the Lord, however, I had not yet recognized that God wanted me to be like that tree planted by streams of water (Psalms 1) with good fruit and an obviously healthy spiritual walk with my Lord. Back then to those looking on it must have seemed like I was a mighty oak one day and a withering shrub the next.

If I could thank this couple for one thing they taught me while l lived in their home, it would be to love God's Word and know that God wanted His best for me. They discipled me with tough love and the truth about God's Word. I'm sure I may have bristled at times when they shared with me these vital lessons but I'm so glad my heart was soft enough to accept these lessons and in time I digested the Word of God and incorporated it into my life. Often I made excuses about my behavior (It was how I was raised, my personality, weakness in my mental ability etc) but they made sure I understood that no one but myself could be responsible for the consequences that came into my life. When necessary they firmly lectured me in order for me to understand that what I spoke over my life and what I believed about myself as a child of God would become my reality. Thanks Mama Lynn and Papa John!

Psalms 16 is a beautiful outline of what God desires for us as His children to understand what God wants us to believe is healthy and well-balanced boundaries. We need to practice these principles in order to begin the journey to a healthy, mature, overcoming Christian life. This study on Psalms 16 is not a quick fix for years of lack of or misaligned boundaries. This is something that we will constantly be seeking the Lord about and praying to have a sensitive heart in all our relationships especially with our relationship with the Lord. A soft, well tilled heart is one that God's Word can then take root and in time we find that we are like that tree planted by streams of water with wonderful, rich fruit and a foliage that attracts many to the Kingdom of God.

I hope you enjoy going on this journey with me to discover what God's Word says to us about having healthy life-giving boundaries and living within the safety zone that God designed for our lives. God gave us boundaries or hedges to keep us safe and living in a reality of knowing that walking in the Kingdom of God means righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Knowing Him in an intimate manner is key and desiring to dwell in the secret place is vital to beginning this journey.

Where to begin--setting healthy boundaries

Keep it simple and to the point

When you sense that you need to set a boundary with someone don't feel like you have to explain every detail of why. Keep your explanation simple and to the point.

Example: Your new friend asks you to pick her up but it is out of your way. You simple say, "I'm sorry this will not work for me today. I hope you can find another ride so you can go shopping for the shoes you want." If she pleads for you to still come and pick you up, just simply say. "Sorry, this is not going to work with my schedule today." You give her an open door to continue to push this subject if you make too many excuses.

Example: Someone at church asks you to work in the nursery but you are certain that you have been putting in more than your fair share. You say, "I'm sorry, I will have to pass this time. I've was in nursery recently and feel it is best to say no." This person may press for details, like- when was the last time you worked in nursery etc and you answer back with a simple, "I'm sorry, but I'm not able to say yes at this time." You do not owe them an explanation etc.

Setting boundaries first-/someones feelings come second

You cannot set healthy boundaries and at the same time coddle someones feelings. I'm not saying that you have to trash their feelings but setting the healthy boundary is the primary goal and their feelings on the subject comes secondary.

Example: Your long time best friend wants you to attend their 10th wedding anniversary BBQ picnic and also wants you to bake a sheet cake and decorate it for the occasion. You did this at your other good friend's party and she really liked it and wants it at her party too. In the past you have had trouble saying no to this friend so she just assumes that you will say yes. You answer: "I'm very sorry this is not going to work for me. I'm far too busy this week and decorating a sheet cake would leave me no time for the necessities of this week. I can bring some chips and soda if that would be helpful."

Example two: Your spouse promised his mother that he would come over and cut her grass and promised that you would plant flowers just like you did last year. You, however, made plans to help another friend who just had a baby and you can't do both. You say, "I'm sorry, I can't do it this year...explain in short why...we could do it next weekend but I can't do it this weekend." He is hurt that you won't drop your plans. Just say, you are sorry he feels this way and try to remember that he made the promise without you being aware and you are not obligated to come through on his promises. Smile and tell him you will try to be helpful with more notice.

Set boundaries even if it makes you feel badly

Most people do not recognize that they may assume that you will just jump at the chance to help them out but you need to firmly and lovingly tell them what you are and are not willing to do. You may feel a sense of shame and guilt when you set these new healthy boundaries. This will make it feel like it is wrong to set these boundaries but DO SET the boundaries because people often just do not realize that they are overstepping your boundaries because of a lack of you reinforcing your boundaries in the past. If you have gotten a reputation of being "easy to use" then they don't have much respect for you.

Example: Your long time friend becomes angry because you refused to color her hair tomorrow night. You have simply stated that it will not work for you because you have plans to spend time with your family. She first tries anger and then pouts for 15 minutes. You hate this behavior but do not say anything further. She leaves your presence with a huge huff of air to let you know that she is not pleased. You feel very guilty but know it is for the best to establish these necessary and healthy boundaries.

If you start to set and maintain your boundaries then they will begin to get a sense of respect for you and that will become the new normal. If people start to see that when they ask you to do something and you say no appropriately then when you say yes, they know that this is something that is truly a gift and not just because you can't say no. Strong boundaries make people feel more secure about their relationships. Unclear boundaries led to hurts and feelings of distrust.

Example 2: Your friend asks you very politely if it would work into your schedule to color her hair on a particular date. You see that your schedule is free at that time and you gladly help your friend and feel pleased that she is starting to give you respect.

Red flags for knowing when to set healthy boundaries

When someone whines, complains, uses anger and shovels on the guilt, these are red flags that you KNOW that a boundary must be established. Other indicators might be feelings of being suffocated, swallowed up, overwhelmed and that feeling like you will have to run away to get any peace. It might take getting angry before you are ready to set healthy boundaries but if you set the boundaries early on then you save yourself loads of grief and even physical symptoms of stress (headache, stomach knots, panic and depression) Setting healthy boundaries will save you from feelings of resentment and guilt for later on abandoning this person totally because you could not take the drama any longer.

I'm a gatekeeper in my region

Did God place me in a specific geographical region to stand on the wall and watch and wait on the Lord? That day I woke up and knew this was where God wanted me was like a miracle in my heart. For almost 7 years I fought the Lord on staying here. I whined and pouted and dug in my heals. I told my husband I would never make Blanchard my permanent home. So I told him if he wanted me here, he would have to pray and have the Lord change my heart. God heard his prayer but really I gave God permission to change my heart in saying that to my husband. I awoke and desired to live and thrive in Blanchard.

So now God is birthing in me a passionate heart to serve the people in my region. I am developing a compassion for those who do not know Jesus other than just a religious symbol. My daughter came home and told me that a girl in her class was surprised that her history teacher was explaining AD and BC and referring to Jesus as a real person in history. She had no idea that he really existed in the sense interacting with living humans in the first century BC.

Recently, I am discovering that many in this area do not believe that Jesus existed before His virgin birth. They explain away Jesus being the Son of God as He was just a thought in the Father's mind previous to His birth. The idea of God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit is explained away with nice abstractions that rob God of His power and deity. If Jesus was not fully God and fully man then he could not fulfill the perfect sacrifice that we need to be forgiven and accepted by God through what Christ accomplished. If he was just a good man that came to tell us about God then why did he have to die such a gruesome and painful death. It seems like His death would have just been a symbol of God's love rather than God's love demonstrated.

If I was about to be executed and the Governor had the power to save my life but all he sent was a symbol of his authority and not his actual words to free me then I would be a dead duck. Jesus was the actual living -breathing -walking -talking Word of God in the flesh so there would be no misunderstanding of God's love and power. When he died on the cross, it mentions in scripture the dead people rose up and walked around and witnessed to their family. If my dead ancestor rose from the dirt from being dead long ago and touched me and told me of the power of God, THAT would be a strong witness. Jesus is not just a symbol of God's love and power, He is God's love and power. He rose and sat down at the right hand of the Father in heaven. That signifying that He is ALL THAT! He is given all authority. Then in Ephesians 2 it says that we are seated with Him in heavenly places. Okay, WE are SEATED WITH HIM.

Jesus did everything necessary to complete salvation. He gave us His Holy Spirit --the very same spirit that resided inside of Jesus during His earthly ministry was given to ME to His Church to carry out God's perfect Will. Thy Will be done in heaven as it is on earth. Heaven is the model to follow for the earth. God desires the earth to be like Heaven.

How can that be? The earth is so full of vileness and every kind of sickness and evil. When Adam and Eve sinned they messed it up for all of us. But the second Adam came to restore that which the first Adam messed up. When Jesus said "It is finished", He meant that everything was back in order for this earth to be like it is in Heaven. But this time the Church must speak and insist to the devil that he has no authority here on earth. The enemy has lied and convinced the Church that she is weak and helpless to sickness and lack and anything else that makes her weak.

So who are the Gatekeepers? They are the ones that hear the Word and do it. They hear the voice of the Lord and speak to the gates in their regions. You have given your Spirit filled Church the authority to change our world for the Glory of God.

Heavenly Father, I pray in Jesus' Name that you would give me the spirit of wisdom and revelation that I may see and understand the truths and the calling of being a Gatekeeper. Make my heart soft to hear your voice and serve you in night and day intercession to see your glory invade the land. Open my eyes to the truth of your Word and give me wisdom to know how to speak your Word in order to affect the spiritual climate of my region. I speak to the every Gate and say be open. I say to the captives to be loosed and to be bound to the love of God. I will storm the gates of hell and demolish her strongholds. King of Glory come in and have your way in this region, in Jesus' Name, Amen.

Staying within Healthy Boundaries.

I'm so impressed to research God's Word about how important it is to know the boundaries that God has for us to be full of joy, prosperous and walk in Divine health. I know for myself, if I've not been sticking close to what I know God has called for me to be then I feel stressed and stress can lead to loss of joy and health problems. I'm not saying all my health problems have been my lack of obedience but some have. Some health issues have been because I have allowed the enemy to rob me of my peace and joy that is mine in the Name of Jesus.

I'm thinking of the image of the well and what we learn from our Heavenly Father. There are basics in walking with Christ and it is like going deeper and deeper into that well of knowledge. Knowing the boundaries that God has for us is like a basic course in Christianity. If we walk outside of what God has for us then consequences come upon us that are not pleasant.

Some Christians erroneously think that God will be angry and in an Old Testament way "smite" them for sinning. God's not out to get any one. He wants to bless his children. He's more than willing to nurture us as we dwell in the shadow of his wing. It's leaving the safety of the shadow of his wing that cost us our peace or joy or being able to walk in health. Or you can be attacked by the enemy of your soul who goes around like a roaring lion wanting to devour those of us that wander away from His protection or who do not understand our authority in Jesus Name to reject the attempts of the enemy to kill, steal and destroy.

My people perish for a lack of knowledge.(Hosea 4:6) This scripture makes it very clear that what you do not know could kill you. If you stay close to the source of your protection. Fellowshipping with God on a continual basis will keep you in a position to hear his voice and when you need to hear a word of warning, you will hear it because you were not off doing all the busy work that you thought was so important. And reading God's Word will clue you into something that you may not have known would cause you to walk outside of Gods will for you.

You need to know who you are in Christ.
You need to know how to stay in God's Will
You need to know how to have healthy relationships and keep healthy boundaries in relationships
You need to know how to wage war and know your authority in Jesus' Name.

Thoughts from A Horse and His Boy--CS Lewis

I've recently been reading the book A Horse and His Boy by c.s.Lewis about a boy who was raised by a man who turns out not to be his real father and tried to sell him into slavery. The protagonist named Shasta is really a prince but has no clue until a series of miraculous events guides him into his true destiny. What stood out to me the most is the ways the author makes it obvious that Shasta is off course in this journey. He hears the roar of the lions and this fear of being destroyed causes him or his horse, (actually a talking horse) to bolt with fear back into the path that is destined for success.

Some well intentioned people would say that God causes sickness or disaster to befall a Christian to get them to get back in right relationship with Him so they will feel bad enough to repent and become righteous. I would say rather that sin itself is what causes the pain that is a signal to the Christian that something needs to be adjusted so we can get back on the path that God has called us. God did not send the nervous breakdown but the nervous breakdown was a result of not dwelling in the shadow of the Almighty. We might visit that presence of God but we're off to do our own thing and before we know it we're out of whack, unbalanced and no longer living within the boundaries or safety zone that God has made known to us in His Word.

Let's take for example the commandment, Thou shall keep the Sabbath Day holy. I'm not going to argue if the sabbath is Saturday or Sunday for New Testament believers. I will argue, however that many Christians are not observing a day of rest. Jesus came that we could enter into God's rest but many of us run around doing all kinds of good and call it "Our Ministry" but neglect to go off and really fellowship and rest on a regular basis. Well, if I don't do it then it won't get done... But if you would trust that God will do it through you, you would obey this commandment and take sabbath. In this quiet God may tell you how to work smarter and not harder and longer and your work would not be so stressful and your burden would be light.

So what are some of the lions roaring at you to encourage you to get back in line with your destiny? Maybe your are not sleeping and this sleep deprivation is going to "roar" at you with symptoms of migraines or just plain fatigue. Are you depressed. I know some are truely struggling with a chemical imbalance that needs to be treated in order to function normally but what got you to that place of imbalance? What lion is roaring at you when you lay awake on your bed night after night from chronic insomnia. Occasional restlessness might be the prompting of the Holy Spirit to pray for someone or press through a deep spiritual insight but night after night of no sleep and then day after day of feeling so fatigued that you are a danger to yourself and others is a lion roaring at you to get back on the right path.

My testimony

I've been a believer in Jesus since I was a little girl. I was blessed to grow up in a family that had Christian values and knew that there is right and wrong and a God that has a plan for each person on the planet. My church family also presented the Gospel to each person who entered the doors of the little white building that salvation is a gift from God though the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and not something that can be earned nor can we ever be good enough to merit heaven.

Grace was taught every week in that little white building but for some reason I felt I still had to earn God's love and work to make Him pleased with me. I knew the Bible said that he loved the whole world and He gave his only Son to die so that anyone who believed in Him would live eternally. So I looked forward to heaven and thanked God that I would not go to hell like an unbeliever.

So growing up I had an understanding that God so loved the world but I was never good enough to feel like the Father God even glanced my way.
One could sum up my childhood and adolescence as daily existing but not feeling like life was not really worth living. I felt dead inside but if you questioned me I could tell you about my conversion experience as a little girl and knew the truth that I was born-again and going to heaven when I died someday.

God opened a door for me to go to college on a four-year full scholarship to CMU as a vocal music major. Moving away from my childhood home and comfort zone forced me to cry out to God to help me. I had a Bible but rarely read it. I prayed but found that pretty empty too. I was convinced God would never speak to me. I felt my life was a big bag of nothing.

I worked hard in school but I started having more and more frequent panic attacks. By December my freshman year, I feared that I would have to drop out of school. Panic seemed to grip me out of nowhere and a feeling of dread came over me every morning when I awoke.

I started attending Campus Crusade for Christ and during Christmas break I went to Chicago to attend a conference. Now I had never heard of Bill Bright before but I will tell you that he spoke directly to my heart. He had me convinced that God wanted to have a personal relationship with Him not so I could just be saved from hell but so I could live a life for Him right here and now. I recommitted my life to God and vowed to seek after Him all my life.

The summer after my freshman year was the most incredible summer of growth in God. I discovered in a deep meaningful way that God wanted a personal relationship with me --ME! I fell in love with the Savior and immersed myself in His Word. I discovered that He wanted to not only save me from my sins but wanted to flood my spirit with His Holy Spirit. I prayed for the baptism of the Holy Spirit and sang songs of joy and praise that I never knew possible. I read the whole bible from cover to cover that summer. I had a great core group of friends and we all encouraged one another with singing praise and digging deeper in the Word.

Now most would say this was a happy ending and for the most part it was. From this point on, I have never doubted that God has loved me and wanted a personal daily relationship with me as His child. But there must have been some root issues that I could not seem to overcome.

As my college years progressed and I reached my early twenties, I continued reading the Word and praying. Praise and worship was a daily routine and I learned a great deal about spiritual warfare but I could not seem to overcome fear. I had panic attacks and fear gripped my heart to the point that I weekly thought I would have to quit college. I did end up forfeiting my music scholarship because I would just look at the building and felt like I would suffocate.

I floundered the next few years academically but grew as a child of God. I enjoyed attending two churches and several Bible study groups. I eventually made the Potter's House my church family. I loved the freedom in worship and the constant encouragement to seek the Father's heart.

I met my husband at the Potter’s House. I thought it was funny that we attended the same small church for two years before we met. I only attended the evening service and he only attended the morning service. We started dating in July ‘90 and were married that same year. I have never doubted that marrying Alan was God's perfect choice for me.

With as much faithfulness as I could, I attempted to walk out the Christian life. I continued in His Word, prayed and praised and experienced seasons of victory and joy but the panic and depression just got worse. In the middle of my trial with fear and depression, I broke my shoulder and went three years before a doctor was able to determine a treatment.

Physical and emotional pain caused me to feel abandoned by God and only after our first daughter was born I sought help from our family physician about the symptoms I experienced. He diagnosed me with postpartum depression and prescribed medication but I stopped taking it because of side effects. I was too ashamed to talk to my doctor or reach out to those in my church. I hoped more prayer and reading God's word would make me well.

Second baby girl comes along and I can barely function this time. I rarely left my house without severe panic attacks. I wanted to sleep all the time and just speaking seems like a difficult task. I again sought out the doctor's help and medication stabilized me so I could function but this time I felt trapped in a life of fear and depression. At this point I saw myself doing everything a Christian knows how to do but still I was failing. I felt defeated and even reading my Bible became a huge mountain in my life.

I believed at this point I was some type of second-class Christian and although I would end up in heaven, God would not be able to use me for more than just the occasional good deed. I hoped someday I would stumble on to the magic key written in the Bible that would release me from my shame and give me a purpose here on earth.

Alan did his best to understand what I was going through. He loved me but really did not know what to do for me. I think he started to blame himself for my unhappiness. In my frustration I probably blamed him too. I blamed the devil and knew he had afflicted me with depression and panic issues. I cried out to God to deliver me. I begged the Most High to take away my shame.

For nearly 10 years I lived with so much fear and depression that for seasons I would stop leaving my house. The stress was causing my body pain, I suffered intestinal problems, marital problems and I stopped trying to make friends for fear that they would discover my deep shame.

In the meantime, our pastor was preaching from the pulpit some interesting themes. Grace. I knew what grace was. It is undeserved favor. It is the only way to get saved. God gives us the gift of grace and we are saved from hell and when we die we go to heaven. I knew that. It's simple. But did I?

He kept on preaching. This was not new information but for some reason it became alive for me in my heart. Pastor often told us that he would say to himself into the mirror, "I am the righteousness of God through Christ Jesus" and the first 100 times he did not believe it but said it because he knew he needed to get that truth on the inside of himself. He challenged us to say that we are "blessed and favored of the Most High God".

I didn't feel blessed. I felt ashamed. I felt like I was a disappointment to God and a false witness of the Gospel. My life was the opposite of what I thought a Christian should be. I got to a point now where reading the Word was an obligation because I was further afraid of disappointing my Savior with my lack of faith. I knew He could heal me. I knew He wanted to heal me but I was not healed. So it was my lack of faith. Or was it?

A crisis came in December ‘06. I could not walk straight and found it difficult to write my name. I had an even more difficult time forming a completed sentence. For 5 years medication kept me stable yet daily I experienced symptoms of insomnia or hypersomnia, confusion, extreme mood swings and panic in situations that would seem mild to most people.

When I reached the doctor’s office that December morning it was hard to form a sentence and I feared I was losing my sanity. She wanted to hospitalize me but I managed to convince her I had support from my church family and my husband so a stay in the hospital was unnecessary. She sent me home with a new medication that caused me to sleep all the time and have waking nightmares. The side affects were so unpleasant therefore I had to wean myself off. That winter I rarely left the house while living from one day to the next hoping my brain chemicals would not crash again.

Finally, middle of that winter, I'm stabilized with a medication that does not have unpleasant side effects and I truly for the first time in many years, I start to feel better.

The new medication allows me to be able to read the Bible again and I really did feel so much better. I start to believe this was the answer for me. The confusion lifted and I believed I could be whole and live a victorious Christian life. I really started to convince myself that there is no need for shame and just like anyone who needs medication for any chronic illness there is no need to feel ashamed for needing medication to obtain health. I was satisfied this was God’s answer to my prayers. A few months later God began speaking encouragement to further remedy my wounded, weary soul.

God began the process of teaching me about healthy boundaries in my relationships. I had read The Boundaries Book by Townsend and Cloud. I also read the book 12 "Christian" Beliefs that will Drive you Crazy: False Assumptions. I read these books previously on occasion to make sure I was on track and not letting myself be overrun with those that would ask me to jump through hoops that were not what God intended for my life. But there is one thing I over looked. You cannot change your behavior until you change the way you believe.

Was it possible that I had wrong beliefs about God and about the Bible? I had read the Word from cover to cover over 10 times in 10 years. I started to realize it was not my lack of faith that prevented my healing--it was what I believed. It was my belief that I could do something to get God's Grace. I could not work for salvation but I was working to get God's favor. I could not do anything to get into heaven but I was working to make myself worthy enough to enter the Kingdom of Heaven which by this time I knew was meant for the here and now. I also previously believed that when I messed up God was mad at me and required me to pay for my sins in order to have His favor again in my life. This false assumption was working against me.

In church we heard our pastor preaching nonstop that we needed to know who we are in Christ. The devil doesn’t care if you do good deeds but he does not want you to recognize who you really are as believers. Alan I read Rediscovering the Kingdom by Miles Munroe and realized that we are sons and daughters of the Most High and that means we are favored not because of what we do but who we are in Christ. For months we are edified with the book of Ephesians exhorting us to really understand our position IN CHRIST.

We realized that we are seated with Christ in Heavenly places--right now--not later in Heaven after we died. We needed to be over comers here on earth NOW and not later. We read in the Gospels "Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will be done on earth right NOW as it is in Heaven..." We had our eyes opened to knew that we could not earn sonship we ARE sons of the Most High and with that comes authority in Jesus Name. Reading this book and understanding the principal of Kingdom living was an exciting turning point in our marriage and as individuals.

My Heavenly Father helped me recognize that I had allowed fear of people to rule me. I was not speaking up when I knew that others were trampling my boundaries. I was even trampling over my own boundaries. I examined what I allowed myself to think about myself. If I had a poor opinion of myself then how could I expect others to have a proper and healthy opinion of me?

Not everyone understood I needed to set healthier boundaries and speak only what I saw as God’s will for my life. Some friendships had to be pruned in order for good fruit to be produced in my life. So along with lots of exciting growth came some tears of grief as well.

I started to believe again that God desired for me to be healed of the panic disorder and of depression. God spoke to my heart and told me I was now established in a right understanding of who He was and who I am in Christ. I had established my heart to receive healing. I knew that by His stripes and by the power of Christ I was already healed but now I knew that I was worthy NOT by my works but simply by who I am in Christ. At this time my medications had me stabilized and I really could live that way with the meds but I wanted to give God glory with a total restoration of my mind and body.

With my physician’s approval, spring of ’08 I started the process of weaning myself off from my meds. I had tried this in the past and never made it to day three but this time it was fairly easy. I had a new clarity and a new joy that I had not experienced since I was 19 and was first baptized in the Holy Spirit.

This is my current happy ending. I have been off medication for about a year.(since June '08) I went from having nearly daily panic and depression from a brain chemical imbalance to the extremely rare and momentary attacks of satan in my mind. I can say now that I am delivered from fear and depression and won't allow the enemy to steal my joy or peace ever again. The devil may try to steal my peace and joy but I know now that he does not have that authority over me.

Recently, I've been studying God's Word to discover His perspective on healthy boundaries. After a year of study God gave me Psalms 16 as an outline for understanding that we are hedged in by God's Grace. The path to life is found within a hedge of protection and if we step outside this safety zone God does not punish us but he allows circumstances to make us uncomfortable so we run back to the confines of the Kingdom of God. The circumstances or consequences of our actions are like roaring lions to warn us to dwell in the shadow of the Almighty. I have also discovered that as sons and daughters of God we have to protect our boundaries from people and satan. We must exercise our authority to maintain healthy boundaries. Psalms 16 is just the outline but God's Word is full of examples of being “Hedged in by God's Grace”.

It's my desire to teach this study to others so they can recognize their need to change how they believe about the Father and about themselves. God is good and is in a good mood toward His people and I want to share this Good News!

God's grace is sufficient for me

Starting this blog is like stepping out of the boat for me. I know I want to share what God has been accomplishing in my heart and mind but to start seems so scary!

God's grace is sufficient for me and I want to encourage you that His grace can carry you through too. If you have a great need we have a great God who we can cry out to. Ask and He will answer. Remember to seek and expect to find. Knock and know that the door will be opened to you.
Matthew chapter 7 also says:

"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

I'm so glad I'm seeking a God that I know will not give me evil gifts nor will he allow me to wander outside of His will for my life. I'm hedged in by His grace and know that He wants only good things for his child.