For God So Loved Me.....

What is the key to obtaining spiritual maturity? What will allow a person to cross from carnal (living from their human perspective) to a grounded or mature faith? Is it passion for the things of God? Is it disciplining oneself in the things of God? Is it daily dying to self?

Passion is good thing but it won’t cause one to be mature. It should be a bi-product of maturity. Discipline is also a good and proper habit of a person who is considered mature but it won’t cause you to become mature. And the dying daily to self, is just a religious mirage of a heart that is seeking out something that IN Christ we already possess. We died with Christ and rose again with Him to newness of life. So to die to self is not achieving maturity, but in fact hindering the believer from moving forward at all. Your sin nature is dead..... you are a new creation in Christ and do not need to die daily.

So lets explore what is an indispensable key to walking out the Christian life in maturity. Paul said to the believers in the Corinthian church that the wisdom he speaks of is for the mature believer. (1 Cor 2:6) But this word for mature or fully grown person (telios) is not a meaning of knowing lots of scripture but of knowing that one is complete in Christ. Paul said this wisdom is a mystery to the scholars and a mystery to those who are considered leaders of the world, but to you....simple lovers of Christ, this wisdom is delivered to you by your uncomplicated faith in the Savior.

When I attended college, I was a vocal music major and loved daily going to choir rehearsal. We performed Handel's Messiah during the Christmas season and this opportunity was a highlight of my college experience. I was somewhat ignorant to the fact that these marvelously beautiful songs were written by a man who was inspired by the Bible and amazingly portrayed the truth in the scriptures. Previous to going to college, I had barely read any of the Bible. I had a knowledge based on what others told me the Scripture said. This lack of knowledge of the Bible caused me to live life in sorrow as a result of not understanding my value to the Father.

I did know a few scriptures and one was "For God so loved the world he gave his only Son that whoever would believe on him would not perish and have everlasting or eternal life." (John 3:16) Many people on the planet know this verse of scripture and I think most who do know it, take it for granted. But there is power in this--the Gospel. It says in Romans chapter 1 that "the Good News is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes." Imagine for a moment if you had no knowledge of the Father's love toward you. Many people operate from this lack of understanding how loved and valued they of the Father.

So if this truth--knowing of the Father’s love to send Jesus, is so essential, why does it seem to be such a neglected subject in the Church? When was the last time we heard a sermon or a series preached in worship service about the Father's Love? When was the last time I made it a focus of my study in the Bible or my pursuing the heart of Father? These foundational truths are important and I will state that knowing that one is completely loved and accepted by the Father is an elementary understanding to our maturity as a believer.

It says in Proverbs 23 that “For as a man thinks in his heart so is he.” When we know we are loved of the Father then we live loved.

We hear about repenting and serving and dedicating our lives to prayer. We have it preached many times a year about the importance of the Great Commission. All these subjects are indeed important. But none of these subjects will penetrate and CHANGE or TRANSFORM the human heart. I can boast loudly for all my life how much I love to serve a living God, but this will not transform me. Boasting of His love for me---this truth has set me free many times over and will cause healing, deliverance and overwhelmingly positive results in your life and the lives of those who hear this truth.

Knowing or experiencing the Love of God is what will penetrate a heart. Knowing His Passion for you will bring you to life. Preaching it to others will ignite a zeal within you that cannot be quenched. All those other subjects (all important) will not cause you to become intoxicated by His purpose for your life.

I challenge you to meditate and speak aloud "The Father loves me...He loves me...He sent His Son --my Savior--for me. He loves me and desires me." Speaking this aloud causes a fresh belief within your soul. It changes you...it will change you and create passion in your heart and soul.

I will conclude this short article by telling you about a dream that changed my perspective of my Father’s heart for me.

This dream, which presented more like a nightmare, occurred in me about six years ago and it is only about a year ago that I understood it. It was somewhat disturbing at the time. I probably had this dream due to the constant struggle of depression and the anxiety disorder that pummeled my mind daily before I was healed about five years ago. I know that God used this dream to teach me of the truth about my Savior and about the Father’s love for me.

In the dream, I was running from something or someone. My surroundings were unfamiliar and I eventually realized I was in a maze of some sort. The people I saw in this dream were people I knew but no one would talk to me. It was like I was a stranger to them. I would ask them a question about how to get out of the maze and they all looked at me strangely, like asking them this was the most ignorant question to ask. Some looked at me in disgust and acted like they were afraid to get too close. I began to feel a lot of shame and felt like people were pointing and whispering. All during the dream, I felt like something or someone would soon "catch" me if I didn't keep moving.

It was one disconcerting moment after the other. This dream was one of those bottomless pits of uncertainty. I felt anxious and confused. I am the type of person who prefers to plan my route and this was one ambivalent turn after another.

Finally in the dream, I ran into a clearing. It was like a round courtyard. There were several other archway openings that came from the same maze that I had just tried to escape. In the center of the courtyard, up on a small platform was who I thought was Jesus. His back was to me so I was unsure it was really Him. So I ran to Him. I cried out His name “JESUS” as soon as I saw His face. BUT when this person I thought was Jesus turned around, He was scowling at me. There was a look of pure contempt on His face. I wept bitter tears, kneeling in front of whom I perceived as my savior. I felt a profound hopelessness and a dark gloomy cloud was settling on my body.

Then something miraculous entered the dream. Our Father will never leave us hopeless. In the dream, my dear friend of many decades appeared to me as I was weeping before this angry god. She insisted that I get up and no longer worship him....she said this was NOT Jesus.

I awoke with extreme emotion. My pillow was soaked with tears and I was physically shaken. It was haunting and hope-filled all at the same time.

I now know that if it is not Good News, it is not Jesus. This dream was a revelation from my Savior that He is not hard to find and not angry with me. He paid the entire price so I could come boldly before the Throne of Grace. I'm set free by His love and He would never leave me, reject me or put me to shame. All my sin was removed from me as far as the east is from the west. I now realize I do not need to feel driven by someone or something and I am free to love and be loved.

My foundation as a mature believer in Christ is that of my Father loves me so much that He sent His precious Son to redeem and restore my life back to Him. I am the treasure of great price spoke of in the parable. He gave up all for me! I am loved. YOU are loved. You can experience this complete and full way of living as you increase your knowledge of how loved you are by the Father.

Daughter, Where are you?

Ever have one of those days where you are walking along in peace and something happens and it seems your joy and peace is snatched away like a wave on the sand? Of course you have. We all have in our human experience. But why? Why do offences and some types of circumstances cause us to temporarily lose our peace or joy or both? I'll answer more clearly but want to give you some insight into what helped me to see more clearly.

I am the type of person that wants to bless others and I try very hard to be a blessing everyday. So what appeared in my perspective to me to be ahead of schedule and accomplishing my goals of the day did not appear to others the same. Someone had a different perspective. This person whom I was intending on blessing ended up feeling annoyed with me and was actually somewhat rude. So my peace is washed out to sea since I felt I failed them....sigh.... So I'm walking along in order to meet up with this other human who needed me to continue to bless them, but I believe they are disappointed in me.

So I ask the Holy Spirit to show me how not to feel offended. He had been working in my heart to help me to understand that we are not to see others in flesh since our Father no longer sees me in the flesh but to see them by my new creation perspective. I'm in Christ and most of the time I am aware of this right-standing with the Father. I've come to realize by the work of the Spirit within that I am seen as holy and perfect since I'm IN CHRIST therefore no more old nature....since it died and was buried IN CHRIST 2000 years ago. But still having some trouble in this common hinderance of feeling offended.

I walk the remaining part of my journey to deliver to this other person what they wanted from me. I felt hurt and angry that rather than being appreciated I was told I was not meeting expectations. All of you at some point have been told this and just admit it: This hurts. It hurts to be told that your human best is substandard. So after I've completed my mission I huff off and go hide so I can cry by myself and of course cry out to my Father who always see me as perfect in the Son.

I'm sitting looking out a large window at a typical gray rainy October morning. The colorful leaves from last week have mostly blown off in the chilly northern wind and the colors that remain are more dull browns and less golds and red that I loved. I turn my gaze to a piece of framed art on the wall. It's ugly. It's a photo of a room that has long since been abandoned. Black and white image with a look of hopelessness. I'm still fighting back the stinging tears when I hear in my spirit, "Where are you? Daughter, where are you?" Wow! I knew just what He meant. It was like a flood of understanding. In that moment, I was still focused on what had happened 20 minutes earlier and He was currently in the present.

Our Father lives in the NOW not the past....He doesn't see my past or the past of the person who offended me. He was not mad or thinking up some way to avenge my hurt feelings from the individual who hurt me. In that instant, my peace was FULL. I was instantly transformed back to the life of abundance that I was living prior to the offence. I UNDERSTOOD and knew now that offences come when we live back in our minds where the offence took place. The Father asked me where I was NOT because he was angry or thinking up some type of punishment or curse to place on me--His daughter and precious one In HIs Son....but rather he just wanted me to re-focus on Him and His love for me.

I looked up again at the bland art work on the wall and saw something new, I had not seen previously. Right near the middle of the image of the black and white photograph was the word PEACE. I knew then that was the intended focal point that the artist had intended for me to see but it was not visible to me until I refocused on being IN CHRIST.

So to answer my first question: Why do offences and some types of circumstances cause us to temporarily lose our peace or joy? It's because we are not where we belong in our spirits.....we've remained at the offence and are focused on that and are stuck until we re-focus and fix our eyes back on the Savior and His finished work. There is no lack. Eve thought she lacked and God asked her "Where are you?" And she hid! I know my Savior well enough now to know I can run to His Throne of Grace and receive all and know that I lack for no good thing in Him.

He Will Send Down His Roots.

As I was drifting off to sleep, I found myself perplexed as to why grace has transformed so much of my life and in other areas the unloviness of sin still seems to have a stronghold in my mind. I know in my gut-- that part of me that 100% trusts that what my Savior did for me is sufficient --but my brain still sees the flesh dominating parts of me.....So this is the image the Holy Spirit put in my mind as I was drifting off to dream.

A heavy monument or tombstone represented the old nature that died in Christ. It's stone cold heavy nature just sitting there as a reminder of who I was...it seems like a mountain in my life but in reality it's just a dead thing that represents my old self. My memory of it is strong. The root of course represents the fullness of grace growing in me daily. I'm going from glory to glory and grace to grace. The root is under the tombstone and in a matter of time it topples over the dead thing.....the law --like two tombstones seemed to dominate my life at a time but grace got in there and eventually toppled them over. This dead stone no longer represents my life. I'm a New Creation in Christ and believe that God's grace will continue to topple over the dead monuments of my past. Dead things cannot control me.

A scripture that encouraged me as well after seeing this grace-filled example of how this process of going from grace to grace works "I will be like the dew to Israel; he will blossom like a lily. Like a cedar of Lebanon he will send down his roots" Hosea 14:5

Be angry and sin not: A law I put myself under Part 1

I'm still learning and unlearning many things when it comes to God's grace. I discovered recently that I had been putting myself under a law I had made especially for myself. In Ephesians 2:6 it says When you are angry do not sin and don't let the sun go down on your wrath. Sounds like a good plan--but I will show you how keeping this law has actually brought sorrow to my life.

I have heard at least a half-dozen sermons or teaching on this subject and they all sound pretty good but NONE of those sermons have ever set me free from behavior that is associated with my anger--my personal sin that came with personal consequences.

I'm really not into comparing sin and I know my anger issue cannot be compared to an others. (some of you might think my anger is sissy stuff compared to your own OR you might be shocked at the unloveliness of sin resulting from my angry feelings). Regardless, I've been negatively affected by the consequences of anger in my life. I have been wondering for several weeks now why God's amazing grace has transformed my life in so many areas, but not in the area of being angry and then followed by sinful behavior.

Over and over this past several weeks I would hear in my spirit "Be angry and then don't allow condemnation...." and I would dissect the scripture in Eph 2:6 and in the original language it was not the word condemnation or really anything to do with condemnation. It was the word SIN but still OVER and OVER I hear: Be angry and then don't allow condemnation..." I know the Holy Spirit was trying to teach me something vital about the anger issue I constantly feel so badly about. So I asked Him to show me where He was going with it. He said, "Allowing condemnation is sin"....again I felt clueless.

I have known the scriptures in the New Testament about anger and unwholesome speech since I was a young child. Eph 2:6 "When you are angry do not sin...." and Eph 4:29 "Do not allow any unwholesome speech proceed from your mouth..." which is usually the result of my being angry. So I'm not ignorant to the scriptures, but I was ignorant to what the actual sin was AFTER the anger was aroused.

Was my behavior continuing because I allowed condemnation to be present after I felt angry? The wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ. The death in my case was the condemnation I experienced from guilt and shame about my behavior. The anger was well past but I suffered for hours or days due to my view of myself. The condemnation was the issue NOT the anger.

Be angry and sin not: A law I put myself under Part 2

Part 2

We need a working definition of the word sin because some of us have been taught that sin is immoral behavior. Not really a correct definition although I know it can lead to some very unlovely actions. Sin in the Greek is the word hamartia. This word means to "miss the mark" like in archery where you do not get a bulls-eye with your arrow. Goofy definition, right? But the work hamartia comes from another word that is hamartanō which part of that word is meros. This word meros means to have lost sight of your destiny.

So some of you may now see where I'm going with this. If you were born to royalty, you are considered heir to the throne in that kingdom. Even if you are kidnapped and taken to a foreign land such was the case for the character Shasta in the book A Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis (one of the Narnia series) was taken from his parents and had no idea of his royal destiny. He was still heir to the kingdom but made decisions based on his lack of knowledge which caused him sorrow. So his lack of knowledge led him down a path of doubt and feelings of condemnation. He was not good enough....he was lacking....he was a failure....etc. But he was still an heir to the throne. Nothing Shasta did or didn't do could change that fact.

Sin is forgetting who we really are in Christ. Or one could say that sin is unbelief of what Christ accomplished on our behalf. So when we forget that we are the righteousness of God in Christ we forget our destiny and thus allowing condemnation to be present. We submit to being under the law rather than submitting to God and His way of thinking. Romans 8 tells us that there is NO CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ and the law of the Spirit of life in Christ has set us free from the law associated with sin and death. Walking by the Spirit means that we realize or are aware of our destiny of being under grace and not under the law. The law was fulfilled by Jesus and we are in Christ Jesus so we are no longer under the law but under grace. Paul said we are saved by grace through faith in what Christ did for us so we have NOTHING to brag about except the grace of God.

The Holy Spirit showed me two examples in my own life to demonstrate that the angry behavior was not resulting in my sorrow but the condemnation I experienced following the behavior.

First example: I had a passionate reaction to my husband putting pressure on me to do something I had no control over. My response is to yell and become verbally abusive. I was angry. The words coming out of my mouth were unlovely and unwholesome. But the sin was the condemnation that followed. For hours I fret over my behavior...I end up with a nasty tension headache and nothing accomplished for the day. So then I feel more condemnation about not being a good wife or mother etc....do you see where this is going? The sin is the lost destiny. I forgot who I am in Christ. I was not believing grace was in control of my life and I was focusing on the behavior of me losing my cool.

Second example: Someone says some hurtful things to me. They said these things from some unresolved pain many years in the past that involved me. The words said to me make me feel angry but I'm not in a position to be able to defend myself. This occasion I do not say anything in anger to this person but feel hurt and shame as a result. As the day progresses begin to feel I deserve the shame and guilt that this person poured upon me. That day I allowed condemnation to progress so far that I ended up in the Emergency Room needing a medication for the worst headache of my life. My blood pressure was so high that they would not allow me to go home until it was under control. Condemnation could have killed me in this case....I was angry and sinned. I believed I was deserving punishment.

Okay, so how is this going to practically help me? I don't want to continue to be angry and fall into sin which is actually the condemnation I feel when I react in an unbecoming manner. I don't want to continue to hurt myself from this behavior. I want to be free. The Good News is the power of God unto salvation for those who believe.....and I believe that Jesus paid the price so I can be set free. But how?

This is how: I stop making a law for myself. I discontinue being the behavior police to myself. Next time I'm angry and say or do something unlovely, I will apologize to whomever is present during my angry outburst (that's just common courtesy) but then I let it go....I don't dwell for even a minute on any condemnation. I will say, "Blessed am I because my sin is not imputed to me....where there is no law there is no transgression....I am righteous because of what Christ accomplished for me.... I am complete in Christ....There is no condemnation for those in Christ who walk after the Spirit..."

But of course I must be convinced of this before the next opportunity for anger to arise happens. I must know in my heart and mind that "as I think so shall I behave..." I'm perfect in the sight of God because of Christ and so I'm no longer thinking of myself as a woman who has rage issues but I'm a woman who is no longer under a law that results in me needing to not let the sun go down on my wrath. If I don't sin when I'm angry or not allow unbelief and condemnation to result from anger THEN there is no missed destiny.

As I think I shall behave....I think I'm no longer under the law that says: When I'm angry do not sin nor let the sun go down my wrath. Now I'm under grace and walking by the Spirit.

Moms Give Us Grace

Okay....I want to post something a little different. I'm going to honor my mom today in my blog. Someone will have to print it out for her since she does not have a computer and doesn't even know what a blog is....but do any of us really know what a blog is supposed to be?

Moms give us grace.

I remember the Christmas that I saw the arms and legs of the dolls you were making for me and my sisters..... you were so disappointed that my Christmas gift was spoiled but you quickly smiled when you heard me ask if you were making an octopus or something..... I just saw the arms and legs. I got to see the pretty dresses and hair you sewed on by hand Christmas morning. You worked hard making those dolls. I still have mine.

I remember the hours and hours you sewed dolls to send me to camp. I had to work hard and make baby-sitting money to go but I never could have reached my goal with out you making dozens of rag dolls and those cute strawberry dolls. I loved seeing the faces of the people when you delivered them. Many children loved those treasured pieces of fabric stitched together and all those arms and legs stuffed with the squishy stuff. You had scraps of material that you made the cutest clothes for the dolls.

I'm sure there were many things that I never thanked you for. I did notice but maybe didn't say so. I do know that for everything that you lacked when you were a girl you tried your best to make it 10 times better for your children. We knew what it meant to have a mother who went the extra mile to help us achieve our goals. Really seriously-- it was a dream come true to travel to Europe for a whole month! You and dad could not afford to send me but you helped me find a way and many, many dolls and other crafts were made to send me there. I have no idea how God gave you the strength to let me go and help me to travel abroad. It was one of those life-altering things.... you understood my heart for music and singing and I'm sure you imagined my face singing on the 20 or more stops that we traveled. I was very proud that you and dad wore the sweaters for many years that I brought home from Norway for you while I was there.

Your generous heart was transfered into my chest. I'm giving and loving and tender-hearted just like my mom. I'm also way too practical but somehow faith rises up and I can look at what seems impossible and get the job accomplished. Oh and I got your passionate, feisty side too which can get me in trouble from time to time. But God's grace covers that too. I got all that from you, Mom. Not by DNA but by a transfer of your heart. Moms are about God's grace and my blog is about God's grace so, it just seems natural to honor you this Mother's Day in my blog.

Happy Every Day Mom!

You Bogeyed the Hole.....but the Game is Not Over!

So you think you blew it! You failed so badly that there is no point of return. You know in retrospect that you should have been heading north when you ended up WAY south of the destiny He had for you! Now you hang your head in shame just wondering how He will get you back on track.

But then you awake one morning and realize that He did something amazing. He took your epic fail and turned it into something for His Glory. He turned the shame into something that you cannot take credit for. The hard work that you did or thought you should do were all just distractions and things to take your eyes off from your relationship with your Heavenly Father. When you fell flat on your face in the mud with piggies eating around you, that's when you cried out and really NEEDED HIS GRACE! And that's when you got it.

When I got saved, I knew it was by grace but somehow when I was growing in the Lord, I got the idea that the process of maturing (called sanctification) was from my own hard work. And if I failed it was because I was out of His will or disobeying. It's true that not following what you know to be from Him can result in sorrow....but many young Christians are just convinced that anything that seems like sorrow is due to them not playing by the rules.

Here are the rules:

1) Your Heavenly Father loves you and knows you are really fragile. He sent Jesus knowing exactly how messed up you would be at this moment of your life.

2) You mess up and cry out for His GRACE and it flows to you....you didn't deserve it. But that's the game. You need GRACE and He gladly, freely gives it.

3) You continue to work for God's favor and good pleasure and you will be spinning your wheels for a very long time...trust me! Grace is undeserved....take advantage of it!

In my favorite Psalm 16 in verse 5 it states:

The Lord is my chosen and assigned portion, my cup; You hold and maintain my lot.

Remember from a previous post I explain about this word lot meaning like in a game of chance. The game has been rigged in your favor!!! You are just getting a taste of Grace and you realize it is so much bigger and better than you have given Him credit for.

God Has Rigged the Game in Your Favor

You bogeyed....you REALLY messed up! I dare you to ask the Father to reveal to you how He has planned to make this situation a neon sign for His glory and grace. The games not over and He has already made you victorious!

Where There is NO LAW there is No Transgression

I've been digging for gold nuggets in the book of Romans. Actually the gold nuggets are laying right on top for me to pick up and enjoy. The abundant life that Jesus spoke of just flows to me so freely now that I understand God's love lavished on me by what Jesus accomplished. I no longer see myself as having to pay back what He so willingly gave. No more trying to be justified by good works but fruit flowing from my life as a bi-product of being in Christ.

Today is Good Friday, the day on the calendar that we celebrate the sacrifice of our Savior Jesus the Messiah. He said, "It is finished." and I choose to believe that He finished the good work on the Cross so that I could live a life of no condemnation and filled with peace and joy. People on this planet are not interested in religion, but they will be drawn to the believers who are joy-filled and understand who they really are IN CHRIST.

For the promise to Abraham or his posterity, that he should inherit the world, did not come through observing the commands of the Law, but through the righteousness of faith.

If it is those clinging to the Law who are to be the heirs, then faith is made futile and empty of all meaning and the promise of God is made void (is annulled and has no power).

For the Law results in wrath, but where there is no law there is no transgression.

Therefore, inheriting the promise is the outcome of faith and depends entirely on faith, in order that it might be given as an act of grace (unmerited favor), to make it stable and valid and guaranteed to all his descendants--not only to the devotees and supporter of the Law, but also to those who share the faith of Abraham, who is the father of us all. (Romans 4:13-16)

After reading this, my mind drifted with a nudge from the Holy Spirit.... I was thinking about the casino. The casino is on the property of the Saginaw/Chippewa Tribe of people. This is a sovereign nation. They have their own laws. I don't know all their laws, but one law is that it is legal to gamble there. If I'm standing on their property and choose to play black jack or poker or any other game of chance then there will be no negative consequences for me --accept that I might go home with less money. I am free to play any game available to me because their law says so.

I step on their property and I experience freedom from the law that would bring wrath upon me in my own country. I might bring with me my emotional or mental hangups about gambling, but the fact is that it is perfectly legal and my guilt or lack of guilt in my mind is of no consequence.

When I step off the property and back into my own country and if I decide to gamble and the authorities find out then there could be legal ramifications for me for breaking the law. The law in my own country says gambling is illegal. I am not free to partake. And feelings of guilt or feelings of freedom in this area really don't matter. If I gamble and get caught then their will be unpleasant consequences.

Same is true in the Spirit. I am now under grace. I am not clinging to the Law for my justification. Paul said in Hebrews 8:13 that the old covenant or the Law is obsolete. Since the Cross, we are under grace. My feelings on this matter my vary but the truth is that the old is gone and the new covenant is now how I am justified. I am not under the Law but under grace because of Jesus.

Jesus paid for my freedom. But sometimes I forget this fact and allow myself to be living under laws that no longer have precedence over me. It's like I forgot what country I live in. I am free but live like I'm under obligation. Jesus paid the price so I can live free but my mind continues to live under condemnation. And somehow when I live like I'm still under the law of sin and death it clings to me as much as I cling to it.

Paul said to strip off the old nature and put on the new. It's like changing clothes in the spirit but we don't do it by our good works but by believing we are re-generated. It's like believing you are dwelling in a place where the law is no longer your master.


Strip yourselves of your former nature [put off and discard your old unrenewed self] which characterized your previous manner of life and becomes corrupt through lusts and desires that spring from delusion; And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude],And put on the new nature (the regenerate self) created in God's image, [Godlike] in true righteousness and holiness. (Eph 4:22-24)

A Day of Small Beginnings

I'm thinking back to a day that was more than a decade ago. My small children had been sick. I had been sick. I was out of my normal routine of going to church, serving, praying, Bible meditation....etc.... In my mind I was out of touch with the Father. I was certain that I needed to do some major repenting of my sin.

I awoke on a mid-week morning with fear gripping my heart. I had realized that it had been two whole days and I had not had one single thought toward the Lord. I was feeling like a very bad 'Christian'. I sat up in my bed and said to the Lord, "I'm so sorry...ohhhh.... you must be so disappointed. I'm so ashamed.... I heard in my Spirit come to me in Jesus' Name.

I thought, "Oh good that will help!" It was like a light shining the direction I should go.

Now I always started and ended every prayer I ever spoke with "In the Name of Jesus...." I knew this was vital. I knew this was a key to God hearing me. Well, that was my thinking at the time.

So I scrunched up my face and got in a posture of being very sincere and very humble.... "O God, I come to you now in the Name of Jesus..." Then the Holy Spirit very distinctly and very abruptly spoke, "Yes, you do...." It was not harsh but more straight forward and almost with no emotional tone. It startled me and I opened my scrunched up eyes....

I started over... "Oh Heavenly Father I come to you in the Name of Jesus..." Same thing, I hear firmly, "Yes, you do...." Again it was not punitive or rebuking-- just a simple statement. I was a little frustrated to be interrupted again....didn't God understand that I had to do my repenting before I was okay with Him again and I could get going on my busy mommy day?

A third time I tried being very holy and persisting in prayer, "Oh most Holy God, I come to you in the Name of Jesus...." YES YOU DO!"

Then in a matter of moments I get a download from Heaven about the heart of the Father. I didn't need to beg God to listen or try to be holy to get HIs attention. It was a 'Day of Small Beginnings' (Zech. 4:10) on an understanding of God's grace. I was so used to doing stuff to try to get God to bless me or at the very least rebuke the devourer from my life that I didn't really know how to come boldly before the Throne of Grace.

"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:6

I encourage any of you, to take this small step and know that it's all Jesus and what He accomplished for you and NONE of your good deeds that impress our Heavenly Father. "For it is by grace you have been saved and not works so that none of us can boast." Eph 2

I didn't get off the performance trap that day... but it was the beginning of a journey that has lead to Jesus plus nothing. :)

My Friend Got a Bad Rap....

I was having lunch with a friend a few weeks back. We were munching our salad and catching up with old times. She mentioned she met a friend of a friend of mine and she heard some very disappointing news. She only told me what her very good source told her.

What she said, hurt me very deeply. Not that what she said was not the truth but that I knew this person and he was in my book one of the "good guys". I put him in a category of being a hero and a loyal friend. Someone whom I would call if I ever needed anything.

I don't blame my friend for believing this piece of information. It might have even been 100% true.... but I knew 99 things about this person from personal experience that shows me that he is of a good character. Not perfect --but in his heart always trying his best.

I was so glad that I was able to tell my friend that the one bad thing she had heard was not the whole truth about my other long-time friend. I was glad to point out to her that he is my friend and I like him even though he's not perfect and if he was her next-door neighbor, she would be glad as well. This one bad report is not even close to the truth about who my friend is in reality.

I was driving home and was mulling over this 90 second part of my conversation with my friend of many years. I don't think ill of her for having this opinion. After all the person who told her was one that would know the truth. Unfortunately that person who gave the information had hurt and bitterness in his heart. He came to this opinion because he had been hurt by my friend. That's natural to focus on the hurt and not see the good.

Then I was thinking about how our God has got a bad rap. Every day on TV, movies, in books, radio etc we hear of "Acts of God" or horrible world events that bring about such pain and sorrow. Earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, fires, and tragedies of all sorts are blamed on our God everyday. People even kill other people in the Name of our God. It should break our hearts when people blame our Heavenly Father for such events.

I'm not here to try to convince you that God's in control or not in control. He's God and I don't have to defend Him to anyone who does not know His true nature. But just like my friend I've known since childhood, I know my Heavenly Father's true character. He's not out punishing or hurting people to show His wrath on a sinful world. If he wanted to send a message to Japan, or America or any other place in the world, he would not do it by slaughtering people. Dead people cannot repent. But we do God no favors by saying He's out to punish sinful people.

I know many see the Old Testament of the Bible and say that is who God is.... but God so loved the world that He GAVE is only Son that whoever would BELIEVE (on what Jesus accomplished) would have ever lasting life. (John 3:16)

Maybe it's true that God was mad at humankind.... I'm not a theologian, I'm just a person who believes in what Jesus did for me. And since Jesus took all the sin, sorrow, shame of the whole world for all of time, I know that all of that has been taken care of.... no more payment necessary. So that means God is not mad anymore. Jesus took care of it.

Mercy is about not getting what we deserve. My kids do naughty things sometimes and I don't punish them. They might deserve to be grounded or have a privilege revoked, but I'm merciful and just don't punish them. That's a good thing in their eyes. But even when they are not doing what I like, I still give them everything they need and even things they want. (shocking isn't it!) I love them and go beyond mercy and give them grace. I think it's that grace I extend that allows them to see--even on the roughest of days--how much I love them.

Don't worry. I do discipline them as necessary because I love them and don't want their wrong-doings to negatively affect them. So far, they have always made good choices after they have seen the truth about what could hurt them. That' what good parents do. They help their children make good and healthy choices in life.

Grace is about getting what we don't deserve. We are saved by grace (unmerited, unearned favor) by faith in what Jesus accomplished for us so that none of us can boast in our own good deeds. (Ephesians 2:8) The gospel or the Good News of what Jesus did is the power of God unto salvation to all who choose to believe. We forget that it's the Good News about what He did that can change our hearts and transform our lives. Knowing He loves us makes us want to do good. Doing good is a natural bi-product of knowing His love and grace.

Fear of punishment might sway us not to do bad....but it won't encourage us to do good. What if my children heard that I was going to harm them after a mistake? They probably would not come home if they believed that type of lie. Perfect love casts out fear....my children don't fear punishment even if they do wrong and they will run to us to help them rather than run away fearing punishment.

Hearing bad news about God will only hinder people from receiving His goodness and grace. They will run away from Him due to a mis-representation of Him. Sad that He's got such a bad rap-- People will fear Him and avoid Him.

The Good News (Gospel) is the power of God unto salvation to everyone who BELIEVES. Romans 1:16

A Picture of God's Grace

A mom is sitting in the family room attending her little ones when the younger one hits the older. Tears flow and anger is obvious. The mom says to her youngest, "You hurt your sister. " NO! I didn't did it!" "Can you give your sister a hug?" NO! I don't have any hugs in my heart!" Mom sighs and hears that small voice inside of her...."Come here then, baby. I will give you a hug so you will have one in your heart to share with your sister."

Isn't that a perfect picture of God's grace? We can go to the source --our Jesus--for a hug in our hearts to pass on to those who need it most. We can't do that in the natural....it's supernatural.

The Gospel is the power of God unto salvation for everyone who believes. (Romans 1:16) We believe that Jesus did everything we need for life and godliness. We can believe that He did the work so that we can rest in His goodness and grace.

The Center of His Will Even on "Bad" Days.

Psalm 139: 11-12
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.


I was having a rough day yesterday. I felt full of fear and not at all spiritually mature. Someone suggested that I ask the Father to minister to my heart. Sounded way too simple. This is what He did for me.

I was weepy and feeling like I must be out of His will since I was looking at what seemed like failures. A bad day seems to magnify our weakness and cast light on our doubts and fears rather than on the Good Work that He continues to do in us.

My husband offered to rub my neck since it has been bothering me this past week. My husband was praying in the Spirit for me and in complete gentleness the Holy Spirit asked me why I felt like I was out of His will.... I had no real answer -- a messy week of blunders. Then he brought back to my remembrance a day 16 years ago.

Back then I was struggling with severe daily depression so badly it was hard to get out of bed and get dressed. I had a beautiful toddler and she was the center of my human existence. We went to Walmart for some diapers and some supplies. I was standing in line to purchase what was in my cart and I was playing "peek-a-poo" and have a good time with my little girl. She was smiling and I was smiling. It was a heaven on earth moment that I took for granted.

I made my purchase and left the store. I was putting my precious child in her car seat when He said to me. "A woman decided to keep her baby because she saw how much you loved your little girl."

Talk about a burst of ETERNAL LIFE! I wept for a minute and thanked Him for using me that way.

Last night the Father reminded me of that day 16 years ago. You know what? It gave me that same explosion of Eternity shining into my existence. It made me see that "bad" days and good days are all the same to God. He said to me that I'm right in the center of His will even if I feel like a bug or a bug's spittle.

Yesterday my feelings lied to me and I chose to believe them. But when I asked the Father to show me the truth it was BEAUTY in me that I had no idea about. He showed me that I am right in the center of His will even on those days. He looked ahead and knew that I would whisper a prayer, or smile at someone, or hand them just a few dollars for lunch. Even these things that seems so tiny in the universe, can make a UNIVERSE of difference to someone.

I will never know their name but there is a young man or young woman out there in the world today because I was in the center of His will and purpose even in a season that looked like garbage to me.

When Life is OVER your Head.

A memory from when I was a little girl in the 1970s. All the snow our country is experiencing brought back this memory to me and I though maybe someone would be encouraged by it as well.

We awoke and opened the door to the porch and the snow was over the door way. I have never seen before or since then such snow drifts. I was only about 10yo and my only thought was the poor dogs!

I said, "Dad, our poor dogs are buried!!!" He said, "Well, start digging little girl!"

He had a shovel and me with my mittens (I was bundled up like a northern girl would be). We dug and dug and 150 feet later we made it to the hunting dog's little huts. They were so glad to see us! Dad brought out warm water and slop for them.

I played with them for a little bit and we went inside for lunch. I was so worried but my Dad knew the whole time they were all cozy in their beds of straw. The dogs didn't look too worried either.

This memory just reminds me of how much our Heavenly Father has it all under control even when things are over our heads, He's got a plan.

The Place of the Skull--Parading around the head of your enemy

I've been doing some chewing on the life of David. He was called "A man after God's own heart" (Acts 13) and yet we know he was so far from keeping the Law of Moses and seemed to willfully choose sin. It would seem that his decisions would have doomed him to a passionless relationship with God but we see the just the opposite is true in his life. How did this man under the Old Covenant (keeping the Law) seem to grasp the concept of God's grace?

In Psalm 16:5 is a clue for us. "LORD, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure" David had a revelation that he was not producing his own righteousness. He somehow knew that keeping the Law was not his security. Many times we read that "David inquired of the LORD." He had developed a relationship not based on rules but KNOWING his Father's heart. David messed up more than ANY other person we read about in the Word of God and yet he was abundantly blessed.

David was also a man of war. I've been focused on one particular verse of scripture for quite some time now near the end of the famous story of David defeating Goliath. This one verse has opened up an understanding for me about what David knew as a man of war and what it means to go forth victorious with a defeated enemy underfoot.

"David took the Philistine’s head and brought it to Jerusalem; he put the Philistine’s weapons in his own tent." Ps 17:54

Now I should give you a little background info. You know the story of David choosing a smooth stone and with a sling that stone SUNK into the forehead of the giant named Goliath. Interestingly enough, the same word for SUNK is used in Exodus 15 when the Egyptian army sunk into the floor of the Red Sea before they drown. The Hebrew people crossed with no problem--millions crossing to safety BUT the enemy was SUNK. This is how God chose to deliver David's enemy to him. David only flung the stone but God caused it to be SUNK into his skull.

David then picked up the sword of his enemy and removed his head.(this word for head is ro'sh and means a top of a mountain or the most important part of something.) This is significant since it demonstrated to those looking on that not only did David conquer the champion of the Philistine's but also the whole Philistine army. This signaled to Saul's army that they were already victorious. God had DELIVERED their enemy into their hand. It also foreshadows that God would use the enemy's weapon (the Cross) to destroy our enemy. No coincidence that Goliath's sword (kept in David's tent) stood end to end would have appeared as a very large cross. That little detail alone should excite you!

It says that David took the head to Jerusalem. But it was not just that simple. First of all Jerusalem was at that time still in occupied territory. We have to read in 2 Samuel 5:6–10 paralleled in 1 Chronicles 11:4–9 that David did not capture and make Jerusalem the capital of Israel until a much later date.

For a season the head was with Saul. It was kept as an artifact just gathering dust. But David used the head (by this time a skull with no flesh upon it) as a symbol to those who followed David that the ENEMY of God is a defeated foe. God delivered Goliath into David's hand and the Philistine army into the hands of God's people.

The head of Goliath remained with Saul until David was King. You know what? I bet there were lots of folks who wondered if David really did kill this infamous enemy. So being a man of war, David took the head of Goliath paraded it all around the divided kingdom (Judah and Israel) and eventually buried it in a place that became known as Golgotha or the Place of the Skull in Jerusalem.

So for centuries before Jesus the Messiah came on the scene this place had a reputation of being where the enemy was put under foot. Defeated! And the whole army of Israel paraded this head with David to it's final destination and it became known as the Place of the Skull.

Our enemy was defeated at the Cross. Jesus said, "It is finished". We have heard the Good News that He paid for all our sin, sorrow, sickness and any lack. But what are we parading around? Are we parading around a defeated enemy or parading our lack? David knew as a man of war that he needed to parade around the head of his enemy.

Okay, time to start a parade. Jesus removed the head of our enemy 2000 years ago at the cross. He delivered the death blow. Now we confess what we believe --not to convince the enemy of his defeat---he's needs no convincing---not to convince God--NO! Our Father in Heaven needs no convincing. But to convince ourselves and encourage those around us. We need to be fully persuaded about what Jesus has accomplished on our behalf.

"And being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was able also to perform." Romans 4:21

Here's the definition of Salvation in case you need a refresher:

Soteria or Sozo (saved) From the Strong's concordance.

to save, keep safe and sound, to rescue from danger or destruction
a) one (from injury or peril)
* to save a suffering one (from perishing), i.e. one suffering from disease, to make well, heal, restore to health
* to preserve one who is in danger of destruction, to save or rescue

Jesus said, "It is FINISHED" so start parading around the head of your enemy! You ARE VICTORIOUS! Jesus paid the price for you to have 100% salvation in any area of your life. You just need to know it for yourself.

Excerpt Chapt 5: "Hedged in by God's Grace" Establishing My Heart for Healing

Excerpt chapt 5 Establishing My Heart for Healing

The Holy Spirit wanted me to learn to take control of my sloppy boundaries with friends and family issues. I was also getting a glimpse of truth that God wanted me to discontinue allowing Satan to bully me by stealing my peace, joy and health. The Holy Spirit continued to encourage me to believe for a life free from depression and severe anxiety.

Although the depression was better, and I was having less anxiety due to the new medication, I continued with the bouts of an overly sensitive immune system. I had sore throats and swollen glands nearly all the time. My neck and shoulders felt like they were tied in knots and tenderness ravaged my joints. Pain and fatigue were a constant companion.

The pains that attacked my body, can only be explained as non-localized pain that bounced from one part of my body to another. I had a good idea why some people think that pain, coinciding with depression, is just in a person’s head. There was no way to point to an exact place in my body where I felt the pain. Stress headaches and intestinal issues were a daily problem. All of this misery was lumped together as symptoms of depression. I have to tell you that at age 38, I felt very old.

So what happened between my 39th and 40th birthdays to make such a huge difference in my life?

I recognized the years of trying to unrealistically please people and please God had taken its toll, and I wanted to be healthy for the next season of my life. I didn’t know if this meant I would be free from depression, but I knew that God wanted something better for me. I had a renewed hope since the new medication was working relatively well.

This lull in my brain chemical storm, allowed me to study God’s Word in a depth. I had not been able to study God’s Word with that type of fervor since my college years and the experience of the “Baptism of the Holy Spirit”. Confusion was replaced with a fire that burned in my soul.

I felt led by the Holy Spirit to do a study in the Bible on the words “gate, hedge, wall, and boundary”. Hundreds of scriptures were posted to my computer screen after inputting these words into an online Bible database.

After months of studying these scripture, it became evident to me that Psalm 16 was to become the outline for what a person needed to know about God’s safety zone or hedge of protection. I knew there were dozens of good books written by professionals concerning healthy boundaries and I had read most of them published. However, those books written were about healthy boundaries in relationships, but none were about the hedge of grace that God desires for His people.

The issue of knowing our authority in Jesus’ Name and recognizing when Satan has crossed the Christian’s boundaries, seemed to be nonexistent in any of those other very good books. I was seeing a trilateral purpose in Psalms 16 to accomplish the work that was needed in my heart. In this chapter from the Psalms, I saw a perfect example for healthy boundaries with our Heavenly Father, our relationships with people and understanding when Satan tried to cross our boundaries to steal what belonged to us as God’s children.

So for nearly a year, I poured over these scriptures and prayed for wisdom to know how to overcome the unhealthy tendencies in my life. Like a seed of hope that had started to grow, it was then I had some optimism for the first time in many years. I knew that the principles I was discovering were key to me living a victorious life. My heart had become established to receive the manifestation of God’s healing. Hope moved into faith. In Proverbs 13:12 it states, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes it is a tree of life.”

In April 2008, with my doctor’s cooperation, I started the process of weaning myself off the depression medication. By the end of June, I no longer needed the medication. I knew I was free. It was scary and exciting at the same time. At age 40, and the first time in my adult life, I was no longer dependent on medication to function and live my life.

I wondered if it was similar to how Peter felt when he stepped out of the boat and walked on water with Jesus. But just like Peter, Jesus would have to teach me more about faith and how to stand on my healing to maintain the good work that He had begun in me.